The Column

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Political undead back for a reunion tour

They're coming out of some graveyard somewhere, searching for some living organism to feast on. Some long-dead -- or so we thought -- politicos have been crashing the front page in recent weeks.

Lately we've been hearing from some real blasts from the past. Now it's Michael Dukakis, Jimmy Carter, and Ralph Nader parading across center stage in an eerie dance that looks like it was spliced from a bad horror movie. It's the political undead, popping up from the crypt again.

Michael Dukakis is one guy I thought was dead. Well, he was, although his body continued to function. Nobody'd heard from him since he was so thoroughly drubbed by George Bush I in the 1988 election. So why is it that he suddenly surfaced after Ted Kennedy died and a Senate seat became available?

Maybe with today's announcement that Paul Kirk will hold Kennedy's seat until a special election in January will put Dukakis back in his political coffin. Let's hope so. Maybe a layer of concrete would be a good thing right now, but I don't think he'll just go away quietly.

Last we'd heard from Jimmy Carter, he was out pounding nails somewhere. Or trying to ... well, not preserve a legacy, but create a legacy that isn't there. I won't depress you with his list of presidential accomplishments, but he's had his moments of success since leaving the White House, including a Nobel Peace Prize a few years ago.

But Carter, deep into his 80s now, keeps popping up. Soon after Congressman Joe Wilson made his from-the-peanut-gallery remarks about Obama and the health care plan, Carter stuck his oar into the argument. Most of the criticism of ObamaNation, he offered, is firmly rooted in racism.

What's amazing is that people took him seriously. His remarks are totally out of character with the Carter we knew, and this begs the question: Was this Jimmy talking, or was it dementia?

An ineffectual president, his remarks may well have destroyed his track record as an ex-president, too.

Ralph Nader is another who is 40 years past his prime, but he keeps resurfacing every leap year. Look it up. In 1996, in 2000, in 2004, and in 2008 he was another longshot because-he-can Presidential contender. In 2000 he captured enough votes -- mostly siphoned from Democrat Al Gore's base -- to insure a victory for George Bush II, and in subsequent elections he kept running under mixed reviews. The Democrats didn't want to see his face (see 2000), but the Republicans welcomed his presence. Of course.

So a few days ago, Nader adjusted his own schedule to speak out against ObamaNation. He was in the process of plugging his new book, and was talking with Time reporters when he released his bombshell about the president: "Weak. Waffling, wavering, ambiguous, and overwhelmingly concessionary."

Whether his opinion has anything to do with reality is a moot point. The question is: Just who is this guy? Who rattled his cage? He had a lot of clout at one time, but that was in the late 1960s -- 40 years ago. If he still has any credibility, he left it in his other pants pocket.

None of which seems to matter to Nader. He says it's to early to tell whether he will walk amomg them in the 2012 presidential election. He'll be 78 years old then, and just as irrelevant then as he has been in the past few decades. But take this to the bank: If he's still sucking air in 2012 he'll be in the running.

Few things are sadder than a way-over-the-hill leader. Most activists and agents of change are one-shot types, good for one or two issues. Think about it. Mention the name Jesse Jackson these days, and all you get is a bunch of giggles. Howard Jarvis is dead now, and he's ... well, he's not even the answer to a trivia question any more. His creation, the property-tax-slashing Proposition 13 in California, has largely been forgotten.

Some years ago, I had the opportunity to hear Cesar Chavez speak in my home town. I was busy, so I palmed the assignment off on one of my young reporters. Turns out I didn't miss much. Chavez' grape-boycotting, farm-worker-organizing days were at least 20 years removed, although he was still considered The Man in some circles. My reporter told me she was not impressed; Chavez came across as another activist hanging on to his glory days.

I'm a big sports fan, and I remember watching an ancient Willie Mays fall down running the bases while trying to squeeze one more year out of an illustrious career. Watching an aging Steve Carlton hook on with team after team, trying to recapture that magic. Watching Muhammad Ali get pounded in his last couple of bouts -- and now the man can hardly speak or move.

Pathetic sights, just like the Carters, Dukakises, and Naders are now in that great sport we call politics.

Some guys don't know when to hang 'em up.

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