The Column

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Zombie invasion? CDC has some emergency procedures for you




They come out at night ...

... in search of brains ...

... and the Center For Disease Control wants you to know what to do in the event of a zombie invasion.

Maybe the whole idea came from all those pepperoni pizzas washed down with way too much Mountain Dew, but the CDC put out a blurb outlining preparedness steps when the undead come a-calling.

Seriously. Check it out. Here's the link.

"The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen." wrote CDC official Ali Khan. "In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder 'How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?' "

One of the first things I think of immediately is that the CDC is a governmental function, and they're screwing off on taxpayer time. But this CDC announcement may actually make more sense than just about any other governmental release. Well, kinda sorta.

"Well, we’re here to answer that question for you, and hopefully share a few tips about preparing for real emergencies too," Khan continues.

OK. Now we're cooking. Khan then outlines some preparedness procedures that could serve you well in a pandemic, a hurricane, or zombie invasion.

Craziness aside, what I get from my reading is that it's hard to sell preparedness to the public. Hurricanes are not sexy enough. Earthquakes don't have that "it" factor. Even a multi-angled event such as a Katrina (featuring disasters such as a hurricane, massive flooding, societal breakdown and FEMA) and Japan's recent earthquake/tsunami/nuclear trifecta aren't enough to sway the populace in the semi-civilized world.

The CDC rationale, it seems, is to come up with something really over the top to garner public attention -- such as a zombie takeover. It is unbelievably tempting for me to say something about how the zombies already took over several years ago and were the difference-maker in the 2008 Presidential election, but I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna say it.

Later with these pedestrian hurricanies, tsunami, nuclear mutant monsters from Japan, and even space aliens. All of these have been done to death, and in our ADHD culture, you've got to hit the public hard, frequently, and from a variety of angles.

I can understand that complacency, somewhat. I grew up in California, the place where visitors and new arrivals get scared because of earthquakes. Well, there are a lot of other scary things about California, but right now I'm just going to key on earthquakes. To a new arrival, any shaking of the ground is enough to trigger a full-blown panic attack. However, it takes a Richter Scale hit of at least six-something to move the longtime resident. Don't pester me over a little trembling; if dishes fly out of the cupboards, then call me.

As far as construction goes, whole metro areas are built along earthquake fault lines. The Inland Empire, which for decades saw the fastest growth of any area in California, is nestled along the San Andreas and San Jacinto Faults. The San Jac passed underneath the a) the freeway interchange of I-10 and I-215 that had some pretty big skyhooks, b) the men's department of Fedco, and c) the San Bernardino Valley College campus. Did I worry about getting caught in the mother of all earthquakes during my classes at Valley? Not at all. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't.

I now live near Charleston, South Carolina, known to outsiders as hurricane country. Every year we go through the same drill here -- pick up a hurricane tracking map at the Piggly Wiggly, and make noises about putting together a plan. Which usually never comes off. Here, life goes on. We watch the hurricanes develop in the Atlantic, note that for a moment Charleston is named the primary target, then relax when the hurricane takes its usual dogleg right turn. We do have an evacuation every decade or so, but the last hurricane of any real consequence to hit the Lowcountry was Hugo in 1989. Since then the wreckage was cleared out, the sea islands were built back up, and everything went back to normal.

For the record, I do have a skeletal emergency plan in case the Son Of Hugo blows the roof off my mobile home. I have a backpack loaded with clothing sleeping bag, rope and tarp, plus some prepackaged rations I'm starting to collect. This is really in anticipation of a hike I'm planning, but if something weird happens before then (fire? Flood? The PC Police knocking at my door?) it's nice to know I'm somewhat prepared.

Standard survival items, straight from the CDC, include:

* Water (1 gallon per person per day)
* Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
* Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
* Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
* Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
* Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
* Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
* First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

Gee, I think I have room in my backpack for the best defense against zombies: A shotgun. Gotta be prepared for anything.

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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

LastPass password system possibly compromised; no panic

If you use LastPass, be careful. In fact, change your master password. Like right now.

A security incident was reported May 3, and the company says that there is no proof of a security breach but they're "erring on the side of caution." Or something.

Here's how they put it:

LastPass Security Incident Information

Dear LastPass User,

We have reason to believe that LastPass user account information may have been accessed due to an illegal intrusion into our network. Despite not having definitive proof of this, we are erring on the side of caution and alerting you on how to safeguard your data.


Thanks,
The LastPass Team

The remedy? Again, change your master password.

From LastPass:

  1. How Likely Is It That My Actual Data Is Compromised?

    It's not. If you used a weak LastPass master password, then it is then conceivable that your master password might be compromised.

    Even if this occurred, it is still extremely unlikely that your actual LastPass account data (site passwords, form fill data, etc.) will be compromised.

    This is because the attackers do not posses your actual encrypted data, and because we prevented access to the actual encrypted data immediately after discovering the potential breach. We did this by denying access to your LastPass Vault if you tried to login from a location that you never used before. Access to your vault from unknown locations is permitted only after you re-verify your identity: LastPass sends you an email and asks you to click on a link within the email.
  2. Why was I not notified by email immediately?

    Our existing email notifications were inefficient. In the interest of securing our users we acted quickly, only notifying the userbase via the company blog and interviews with the media.

    We recognize that users deserved immediate notification of the situation, and are working to develop a system for the future that will be much more efficient in quickly updating our entire userbase.
Here's the actual status report:

I use LastPass, and will continue to do so. It's a solid system. However, I am looking toward other password-keeping programs, such as KeePass (which saves my password data to disk rather than in the cloud).

Upshot: I don't see this as a panic situation. But still ...

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Friday, May 6, 2011

From suborbital lob, manned space flight program grew

It was 50 years ago this week that America's version of the manned space program really began.

On May 5, 1921, 37-year-old Alan Shepard caught a ride on a Redstone rocket and traveling about 300 miles in a Mercury capsule with about the cabin space of a phone booth.

According to Tom Wolfe's The Right Stuff, he spent that 15-minute suborbital flight lying in a puddle of his own pee, as urine-recovery systems were not worked into the space suits just yet.

But this flight was a short answer to Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin's first orbital flight from three weeks ago, and proved a few things. Like the U.S. had the stuff to send people into space. Like our rockets could lift off without blowing up first.

Shepard was later grounded due to an inner-ear problem but was reactivated several years later, in time to command Apollo 14 in 1971. Of the original seven astronauts, Shepard was the only one to walk on the Moon. He died in 1998.

To mark the 50th anniversary of the first flight, The Atlantic ran an article with a series of previously-unreleased photos. Check it out.

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Thursday, May 5, 2011

Support your local TSA (or not)



Got these courtesy of talk show host Neal Boortz. Check 'em out -- they're a real hoot.

Remember, though: No laughing in the airport pat-down line. No levity whatsoever. (I found this last part out the hard way while boarding from Kona Airport, but that was too long ago to go into.)

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Leave it to Obama to

Leave it to Obama to screw the pooch in a triumphant moment. No pictures? Like anyone's gonna take his word about bin Laden?

Sunday, May 1, 2011

According to news sources, alleged

According to news sources, alleged human being Osama bin Laden a) died or b) is running with Elvis. White House announcement TK.