Does your local terrorist need subtitles?

Sometimes being a Taliban ain't easy, so they say ...

(Thanks, Butch, for sending this along!)

How many Twinkies will solve California's budget woes?

Here's an interesting piece in Time. Seems Democratic state assemblyman Tom Ammiano has introduced legislation that would let California regulate and tax the sale of marijuana. The state's proposed $50-per-oz. pot tax would bring in about $1.3 billion a year in additional revenue.

An excerpt: ... supporters of legalization may have been handed their most convincing factor yet: the bummer economy. Advocates say that if state or local governments could collect a tax on even a fraction of pot sales, it would help rescue cash-strapped communities. Not surprisingly, the idea is getting traction in California, home to the nation's largest supply of domestically grown marijuana (worth an estimated $14 billion a year) and biggest state budget deficit (more than $26 billion).

I don't care. Smoke as much of the stuff as you want, but it won't make the economic picture look any better.

(Photo by Mike Hutchings / Reuters)

Like the man said ...

Obviously posted in a deranged moment.

WSJ: Economy bottoming out?

That bump you felt?

Oh, that's the economy.

According to Alan Blinder of the Wall Street Journal, it's hitting bottom.

The drop wasn't that bad; it's just the landing that hurt.

An excerpt: How’s the economy, you ask? I have the proverbial good news and bad news, but in this case, they’re exactly the same: The U.S. economy appears to be hitting bottom ... right now, it looks like second-quarter GDP growth will come in only slightly negative, and third-quarter growth will finally turn positive. Compared to the catastrophic decline we recently experienced—with GDP dropping at roughly a 6% annual rate in the fourth quarter of last year and the first quarter of this year—that would be a gigantic improvement ... furthermore, there is a reasonable chance—not a certainty, mind you, but a reasonable chance—that the second half of 2009 will surprise us on the upside. (Can anyone remember what an upside surprise feels like?) Three-percent growth is eminently doable. Four percent is even possible. Surprised? How, with all our economic travails, could we possibly mount such a boom? The answer is that this seemingly high growth scenario isn’t a boom at all. Rather, it follows directly from the arithmetic of hitting bottom ...

Or something.

Mossberg: Windows 7 looks good except ...

Y'all Windows junkies can't wait for Version 7? According to Walter Mossberg of the Wall Street Journal, Windows 7 beats the pants off Vista (which isn't difficult) and even seems a lot sturdier than XP. (It remains to be seen how it stands up against Windows 98SE, the American classic.

Mossberg says everything's copacetic about Windows 7 except ... except ... the upgrade process. Might be better to buy a whole new computer?

Facebook turns five; will the child live?

Facebook, weighing in with 250 million users, is now five years old. But with its popularity -- and a few advertising deals struck along the way -- it has yet to make a dime of profit.

OK. Real world time. Most new businesses are not going to show a lot of profit in the first five years anyway; in fact survival is the name of the game. At least that's the way it used to be. And while many of these business truths are skewed in the Internet age, speculations about Facebook's future are probably premature anyway.

With this in mind, Newsweek's Kurt Soller takes a look at whether Facebook can last another five years.

Here's an excerpt:

... my generation had decided, almost for me, that Facebook was the only social network that mattered, so why bother with anything else? By now, that's a familiar logic, and it's part of the reason the site has grown so quickly this year, from 150 million users in January to 250 million last week. It's a number the site loves to tout with the following fact: were Facebook a country, it would now be the fourth most populous in the world ...

Broke? Try paying with shells or beans

So Wall Street is crumbling and folks are looking at alternative ways to exchange goods and services?

Barter's great. But there are limits.

Here's a piece in Newser, which goes to MentalFloss for a bit of analysis. Or something.

Broke? Try Paying Like Our Ancestors, With Shells, Beans - Business News Briefs | Newser

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Who do you trust?

Walter Cronkite's recent passing outlines how there's a trust void in our society. To address this interesting and vital question, the Washington Post has been asking newsmakers and others to nominate their own choices for most-trusted-in-America status.

Somme of these choices are pretty good, pretty shrewd. Others ... well ... some are scarier than others.

So who do you trust? Oprah? Barack Obama? Warren Buffett? The everyperson/blogger? Jon Stewart? Bill Moyers? Fareed Zakaria?

Feel like throwing up yet?

Backyard Burials Alive and Well

It's more than just saving money, according to the New York Times ... burials are taking on more of a DIY aspect.

An excerpt:

A growing number of families are deciding against funeral homes and cemeteries, the New York Times reports. Many have decided to care for their dead at home, which they say gives them more dignity—and saves money in the process ...

Recommended movie for those who read my Apollo 11 article: Space Cowboys. I'm told the over-the-hill gang takes over.
~ E

40 years after landing, we need a spark

Photos: The Command Module on display. Neil Armstrong, taken minutes after he took his otherworldly walk. Buzz Aldrin working by the Lunar Module (Eagle). Liftoff. (Photos from Wikipedia)

==================

I'm not all that big on anniversaries, especially when they remind me how old I am. OK, I'm in denial about a lot of things.

But it was 40 years ago this month when man left the Earth's friendly confines and set foot on another, unreachable hunk of real estate. Brought back rocks and soil samples and discovered that no, the cow did not jump over the Moon.

To me it's unreal that it's been 40 years. I could probably rattle off the blow-by-blow of what happened that day. If I think about it, I can still see the image of Neil Armstrong's left boot pressing down into the lunar surface for the first time. Most people can tell you exactly where they were when the World Trade Center was destroyed. Those who were alive can recall their lives when Kennedy was assassinated (I can), or when Pearl Harbor was attacked (I'm not that old).

Upstaging even the Angels

Although I'd been aware of some of the early two-man Gemini flights, I really started paying attention with the brand-spanking-new, three-man Apollo program. To be sure, I had an unusual view of the space program for a kid my age. At the time, my Dad worked as an engineer for North American Aviation (later known as Rockwell), one of the go-to suppliers for the space program.

I was 11 years old when I first saw the fuzzy black-and-white image of Neil Armstrong descending the ladder into history. In one bold stroke we fulfilled John F. Kennedy's challenge to put a man on the moon, and showed the Russkies what space flight was all about.

I was at a ballgame in Anaheim when the Eagle landed. This was during the first game of a doubleheader between my Angels and the Oakland A's (and Oakland started an unknown kid named Vida Blue for the first game). The landing was announced over the stadium PA system, people cheered, and my grandmother (who took my brother and me to the game), well, you can tell she was getting just a little misty. After that I was kind of hoping the doubleheader would be over quickly so we could highball back to Riverside, plunk down in front of the tube, and watch the astronauts. In my life then, that was one of the few things that could upstage the Angels.

Like everyone else, I watched the otherworldly pictures on TV. I listened to the communications between the moonwalkers and Collins, who piloted the mother ship alone in lunar orbit, and with Mission Control. I listened to President Richard Nixon cangratulate the astronauts in the mother of long-distance phone calls. And later, after the astronauts buttoned up the Lunar Module and got some rest, I stepped outside, contemplated the Moon hanging there in the sky, thinking that people were up there right now. Heady stuff.

For a youngster, I had an unusual perspective on what was happening in space. My Dad worked as an engineer for North American Rockwell, those folks that built several components (the command and service modules) of the spacecraft that would send these men to the Moon. Although Dad wasn't one to tell everything that happened in the office (and he couldn't, I found out later, because of security concerns), I knew I could get some technical aspects of the flight from the dinner table. Years later, when the Space Shuttle disintegrated during reentry, I picked his brain to find out what happened (the rigid heat tiles mounted on the flexible skin of the shuttle were the glitch in the system, he maintained).

Dad still has a medallion that was given to him at work. It contains some metal from the Apollo 11 spacecraft. "It's been on the Moon," he'd tell me. For years he kept it on a coffee table in the living room, signifying a high point for him.

Been there, done that

This was the pinnacle of NASA's efforts, and in effect the agency became a victim of its own success. We've sent other crews to the Moon, but with each one there was a bit more of a ho-hum, been-there-done-that aspect to it all. It really took a failure -- Apollo 13's aborted mission and high-wire space survival act -- that put the Moon back on the public's mind. The press paid little attention to that mission until an oxygen tank blew the side off the service module, leaving the ground crew scrambling for ways to bring the astronauts home alive. But even that mission was a stomping success, if for no other reason than to prove how vest-pocket solutions and duct tape can work in an emergency. Apollo 13 became the basis of a good book and an excellent movie, and to this day I have nothing but respect for those guys who ran things from the ground, in Mission Control.

(For the record, I continued to sit riveted to the television as each crew went to the Moon. The footage got immeasurably better, sharper, with each mission, and I really dug that little car the astronauts rode around in even if it wasn't particularly fast.)

After Apollo, the space program went into something of a standstill. There was Skylab, which I found interesting, and the Shuttle, which I didn't. Somehow spending 25 years messing around in low Earth orbit seemed pretty small potatoes after the Moon.

"Nobody ever told us we couldn't"

Even today, with the Space Shuttle (and proposed Orion project), there is not nearly the love affair we once had with space. The astronauts today -- well, if I think about it I can name maybe a couple of them.

Tom Jones, who flew on four Shuttle missions, advises Barack Obama in an open letter (recently published in Popular Mechanics) to retire the Shuttle as scheduled, push forward with Orion, and try to regenerate some excitement about space.

"Use your bully pulpit to explain why space exploration will continue to be an American trademark," Jones urges. "Tell the public that space is not just about science -- it's about exploring for resources and energy, creating new industries, and finding economic opportunity. You should drive home the message that investment in space technologty will keep our scientists keen and capable ... look our young people in the eye and tell them that we need explorers -- doers -- who are citizens of the most forward-looking nation on Earth."

On the surface, you'd think this would be the worst time to think about space given our wobbly economy. But that's not necessarily so. It's times like this when we need some brilliant minds running amok. Our space efforts gave birth to a whole raft of new technologies, from the simple (think Velcro) to the complex (like this computer I'm typing this blog on) to the downright fun (the Super Soaker, which revolutionized the water fight, was designed by NASA scientist Lonnie Johnson while he was working on something else). Rather than baffling us with BS, this is a real good time to dazzle us with brilliance.

Even if we put in the same level of effort and excitement into the space program that we did in the 1960s, it certainly won't be the same. I like how Sy Liebergot, who served as electrical, environmental and communications officer (EECOM) for one of the Mission Control teams for Apollo 11 put it recently in a retrospective piece in Popular Mechanics:

"We were young, and we were fearless and, after all, nobody had ever told us young engineers that we couldn't successfully land humans on another planet. So we did it."

When NASA started the Manned Space program (and the first astronauts were chosen 50 years ago), about the only thing anyone knew about our rockets was that they blew up a lot. Through the Apollo project the program itself consisted of swashbuckling test pilots and a bunch of hotshot engineers that had little choice but to make up their own rules as they went along. These guys made "thinking out of the box" a viable modus operandi, an art form long before anyone attached a catch phrase to it.

Although NASA was, as it is now, a govermnental agency, there was very little of the bureaucratic nonsense and turf protection that you saw creeping in later, during the days of the Shuttle. There wasn't room for it then.

Of course I'd read some of the great books of the period, Tom Wolfe's "The Right Stuff" and Chuck Yeager's autobiography. These books probably did more to capture the mindset of those involved in the space effort, and I highly recommend both.

(Footnote: Yeager never received consideration for astronaut status -- didn't meet the educational requirements -- and the idea of riding in something controlled from the ground didn't excite him that much. Hey, chimps were the first passengers in Project Mercury, and he famously said he didn't feel like sweeping up monkey crap before sitting in the cockpit. He did tell how Armstrong -- then with the old NACA X-15 program -- got their plane hung up in a dry lake bed while trying a touch-and-go maneuver against Yeager's advice. "We touched, but we sure as hell didn't go," Yeager wrote of the incident. "The wheels sank in the muck and we sat there, engines screaming, wide open, the airplane shaking like a moth stuck to fly paper." Chuck Yeager is one of my heroes.)

I'm only half joking when I suggest staffing a new Manned Space Program by calling the old gang out of retirement. OK, they'll be getting on in years, and many of the pioneers (I'm thinking of two of my favorite old-school astronauts Pete Conrad and Alan Shepard here) are no longer with us.

Dad's past 80 now, and he's enjoying his retirement so he's probably not interested in a comeback. Liebergot is probably taking it easy these days. Former Mission Control flight director Gene Kranz, who did more than anyone else to keep things together when Apollo 13 threatened to become a real aerial cluster, is likewise unavailable. Oh, well.

Walter Cronkite, the "most trusted man in America," dies at age 92.
~ E

American Medical Association (AMA) endorses Obamacare. Not a good sign ...
~ E

Etiquette in wired world is different

I found these new etiquette rules for the digital age to be real interesting -- and yes, being wired and connected every which way does make the new rules necessary. Like, do you leave your wireless Internet open? Is it OK to send text messages from the head? What to do when your cell phone service drops a call? Should you ignore your ex on Facebook?

To help out, Brad Pitt addresses issues ranging from inter-Rock Band dynamics to choosing a ringtone for Wired. Here's an example: Your World of Warcraft wife might actually be a guy. Pitt's solution: "If it's good, don't check under the hood."

British media: LAPD treats Jacko death as homicide

Michael Jackson appears in London in this March 5, 2009, file photo. (AP Photo)

==========

The investigation of Michael Jackson's death is sure bringing up a lot more questions than answers these days. The British press is having a field day with the whole thing.

It's a circus, I tell you.

Some excerpts:

Though it’s not yet official, the Los Angeles Police Department is treating Michael Jackson’s death as a homicide, law enforcement sources tell TMZ. The anesthetic Propofol looks to be the primary cause of death, and police are focusing on Dr. Conrad Murray as the person who likely administered the drug ...

and ...

The Jackson family confronted the singer about his prescription drug addiction, brother Tito tells the Mirror. “We went into one of his private rooms and had a discussion with him. Some of us were crying,” he says, but Michael denied using.

and ...

Michael had to lighten his skin because a disease, vitiligo, made it blotchy, Tito Jackson adds: “He had no choice in the matter, otherwise he would have looked like a spotted animal or a cow with spots all over him.”

Eventually we'll find our way past all the BS. Or not.

Understand Nevada lawmakers are considering a $5 tax on all prostitution transactions, legal & *illegal.* D'oh?
~ E

Justifying your tax dollars ...

Sign from the People's Republic of California. That's Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger standing in front of one of the signs.

========

They used to have signs up around some road projects, "Your tax dollars at work." And, after seeing one of those signs in my travels I always felt like I'd stepped in it. Or something.

Now, the bigger the snow job, the bigger the effort to BS the public. It's almost a requirement. This is from FrontPage Magazine:


An excerpt:

The Obama administration is so eager to make Americans believe its economic stimulus law is working, it is erecting signs proclaiming each new road repair or construction project is funded by the stimulus law. The Federal Highway Commission said in a sign-guidance statement: "President Obama made the commitment that all projects funded by the American Recovery and Investment Act (ARRA) will bear a recovery emblem to make it easier for Americans to see which projects are funded by the ARRA."

Sotomayor: Roe v. Wade is 'settled law'

SCOTUS nominee Sonia Sotomayor gives an idea of where she's coming from during her confirmation hearings.

From Newser:

Sotomayor: Roe v. Wade Is 'Settled Law' - Politics News Briefs | Newser

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At least she wasn't chewing gum, too ...

Texting is enough of a handful without trying to drive, walk, chew gum, pass gas ... Photo through Honda/Getty, New York Daily News.

========

Much as I hate the idea of laughing at other folks' misfortune, I'm having a terrible time trying not to laugh ... I'll be OK.

This is from the New York Daily News.

A Staten Island teen trying to text while walking fell into an open manhole - and city officials have launched an investigation ... Alexa Longueira, 15, was walking with a friend along Victory Blvd. on Wednesday when she suddenly dropped underground ...

It it the coffee, or the little man in my head?

Known in some circles as "mother's milk." Photo via Wikimedia Commons.


After reading this article from Scientific American, I don't know whether to give up the coffee or brew another pot ...

Here's an excerpt:

Have you ever heard a song when none was playing, clearly seen someone’s face when no one was there or felt the presence of a person, only to turn around to an empty room? If you’ve consumed a lot of caffeine—the equivalent to seven cups of coffee—you are three times more likely to hear voices than if you had kept your caffeine intake to less than a cup of coffee ...

(Caution: Annoying popups. Unless I was imagining them.)

Americans want health care benefits, but not the costs: No surprise in poll

Americans speak out in a poll on health care and costs. Either it's by USA TODAY/Gallup, or the University of DUH ...

An excerpt:

WASHINGTON — Most Americans want a big health care bill passed this year, a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll finds, but they are less enthusiastic about paying for it.

And while a majority of respondents say controlling costs should be the legislation's top goal, more than 9 in 10 oppose limits on getting whatever tests or treatments they and their doctor think are necessary ... the findings underscore the difficult path ahead for the White House and Congress as the health care debate enters crunch time.

Using high-tech clipboards, ballpoints

Psion Teklogix's 7530 is a Windows CE .NET-based handheld that combines an ultra-rugged flashlight terminal with the flexibility and large screen of a Windows CE PDA. This is a fairly large and heavy (over two pounds) handheld that's engineered for extreme ruggedness, according to the manufacturer. This particular model is no longer available, but I use it at work.

============

You've got to love this high tech stuff. For the most part, I sure do.

But this past week I've relearned some of the pitfalls that come with putting so much reliance on fancy toys.

I have one of those wonderful nonessential jobs that really should be civil service. I work at an intermodal (truck and railroad) yard, and my task is to keep track of all those trucks that come in. Or maybe it's shipping containers. One of 'em, anyway. It's equal parts security and inventory work, and whatever the job actually is, I do it well enough to fool the boss.

On the job, I keep track of all incoming and outgoing shipping containers, chassis, and truckers. We do this by computer, and my own unit is a Psion Teklogik handheld, model 7530. It's not a half bad rig, for one that's been discontinued for a few years. Runs on Windows CE, which was the OS of choice for the old Pocket PC. Connects with the main system via wireless. Bluetooth connection to the printer hanging from my belt. And it's built tough. According to the manufacturer's website, you can run this thing in the rain, drop it from six feet up, or work it in a freezer. I've dropped this a few times (whenever you do, always make it look like an accident) and run it in tropical storms and freezing weather. I've also thought of using this unit as a hammer, crowbar, or occasional argument-stopper -- all in the interest of beta testing, creating a better product. Of course.

The system is not that well maintained, and sometimes it's temperamental. Bogs down. Takes forever to print. Some of our units have issues with the display. The alphanumeric keyboard is not designed for a full-sized hand, and although I'm fairly quick on it (using the index and middle fingers on my left hand), it's really best if you're used to thumb typing -- which I'm not.

On Wednesday I came to work, clocked in, made coffee, and fired up my handheld. And it froze up. I tried a hard reset. I tried a different handheld. I tried dropping it again. I tried a different battery, then a different handheld. Forget it. All our mobile units were dead in the water. And already a few trucks were lined up, waiting for me to open the place.

Fortunately, we still have a box of the old two-part forms hanging around, leftovers from the days this work was done by hand. It took a few minutes to familiarize myself with the forms, and soon I was good to go. The three of us -- me, coworker Michelle, and supervisor Elaine -- worked out some of the bugs, smoothed out the operations, and pretty soon we were able to do as good a job on the old forms as we did on the handhelds. Michelle and I would fill out the forms and pitch them to Elaine, who typed them into her desktop. It went very well, with very few glitches. When the computer system was back up shortly after noon on Friday, we could not help but feel good about what we accomplished.

And now we know what to do next time the system goes down, which it will.

A revelation here: Although we were a bit slower with the forms (always an issue with many of our truckers who want everything yesterday), we were probably more accurate. But there's more.

The job became simpler.

Really.

As I explained this point with one of the truckers, the job suddenly had all the fat trimmed off of it. Rather than go through a bunch of keystrokes (it takes about 20 keystrokes to do the simplest task, to check in a trucker who is not pulling anything; just bobtailing), just dash it off on the form, get a signature, and give the driver a copy. And, writing the stuff down on the form, many drivers were impressed we actually knew their names; on the computer they're just a six-digit code.

Yeah, sometimes I bring a sardonic sense of humor to the job. "How you like our giant technological leap forward?" I asked some of the drivers. But I was only half kidding.

OK. I love technological toys. Got to have my computer, Internet, cell phone, mp3 player, and all the goodies. I know how to use them, and I also know how to get under the hood and tweak things for higher performance. Tech is convenient. Tech is fast.

What high tech does not do, though, is make your task any simpler. If you think it does, you're fooling yourself.

I keep my budget on a spreadsheet. It's pretty intuitive now, but it took hours of fine-tuning to get it the way I wanted it. Honestly, a ledger and plenty of black (and for me, red) ink is every bit as good. And if the computer geeks out? Forget it. You'll send for some guy who can barely speak English. But he'll baffle you with BS and charge you big bucks for the privilege.

While the Internet speeds up the research process, whatever time and effort you save will likely be swallowed up in plucking the pearls of usable information from the ordure. And I hope you wash your hands after that.

I can carry a whole bunch of music on my mp3 player. Convenient, but mp3's -- or even CDs-- don't have the sound quality of vinyl.

While computers were a factor, we really used a clipboard and slide rule to put man on the moon.

'Waterboarding' and 'staycation' make lexicon, 'prepone' postponed

It's an annual event. The latest Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary has 100 new words in it to reflect changes in society. You've probably heard some, and you might have even used one or two in a sentence.

Most of these words have been around a while, and nost of the concepts behind the words -- such as the stay-at-home vacation or false-faced friend -- are much older than that.

John Morse, president and publisher of the Springfield-based dictionary publisher, said many of this year's new words are tied to changes in technology, increasing environmental awareness and aging baby boomers' concerns about their health and have become part of the general lexicon. "These are not new words in the language, by any means," Morse said. "(But) when words like 'neuroprotective' and 'cardioprotective' show up in the Collegiate, it's because we've made the judgment that these are not just words used by specialists. ... These really are words now likely to show up in The New York Times, in The Wall Street Journal."

Here are some of my favorite (good and bad) new words in this year's edition:

Frenemy: Your classic enemy who acts like a friend. This is a concept that's older than Judas. OK, a lot of folks are like that, but it doesn't mean they deserve a special name.

Staycation: Saving money on vacation by just not going anywhere. Basically, laying out from work for a week, sitting on the front stoop in your underdrawers, and spending Sunday clearing the pizza boxes from your kitchen and all the dead soldiers from your lawn.

Waterboarding: Enhanced interrogation (or torture) technique that mimics drowning. Used to be known as "sticking one's face in the john and flushing it" in gangster movies.

Locavore: A person who eats only locally grown food. While I consider it a travesty to eat any seafood that does not come from Lowcountry waters, don't call me a locavore.

Shawarma: A sandwich especially of sliced lamb or chicken, vegetables, and often tahini wrapped in pita bread. Whatever it is, it sure isn't from around here. Pass.

Sock puppet: A false identity used for online fraud. Shari Lewis' Lambchop has grown up and become a downright malevolent presence on the Internet.

Flash mob: A group of people gathered through online social networking. Do they wear virtual raincoats?

Green-collar: Describes the growing environmental-protection industry.

Carbon footprint: It used to be what you'd leave after a day of working in the coal mine. Now, it's a source of Al Gore's income.

Cardioprotective: I figured this would happen. "Heart-healthy" just doesn't have the right ring to it.

Reggaeton: Music of Puerto Rican origin that combines rap and Caribbean rhythms. That's the definition, anyway. If there's a difference between reggaetron and "dancehall" reggae (Yellowman was one of the earlier performers of that genre), I've yet to hear it. Of course it's not like I investigated the matter -- much as I like reggae, rap does horrible things to me.

Here's a thought: Maybe I should come up with a word for rap-induced gag reflex and peddle it to Merriam-Webster.

Earmark: This one's been in fairly common use (particularly among journalists) for decades. What took the folks at Merriam-Webster so long? Here's a partial answer: According to Morse, some words spend some time in limbo while wordsmiths wait to see if they are just fads. So maybe "earmark" spent a long time on doube-secret probation.

Vlog: What I get if I stick a bunch of videos on this blog. I think I'll pass on that; not only do videos eat tons of your system resoures, words and the occasional still photo are fine for me. "Blog" is a dumb enough word and I refuse to call myself a blogger, but at least that's a word that rolls off the tongue. Vlog, forget it.

Naproxen: Another one that finally made it into the dictionary. I was prescribed naproxen for pain and inflammation after injuring my foot 15 years ago, and it didn't work then. I had to check the Merriam-Webster site to make sure "naproxen" didn't mean "placebo."

Researchers often keep track of words over many years. Here's one to watch: "prepone," commonly used in India among English-speaking Indians and refers to the act of arranging for an event to take place earlier than originally planned. Kind of the opposite of postpone. "Prepone didn't make it this time," Morse said. "But we know about it."

Which means they'll get "prepone" in the dictionary later. Or earlier.

Oscar Mayer dies at 95

This whistle helped put Oscar's name on the map. It's since been updated, but nothing's quite like the original. You've got to have your wiener whistles, not to mention wienermobiles. Photo from the web site.

-----

More than simply a brand name or the punchline to a catchy ad jingle, Oscar G. Mayer, the former chairman of his family's eponymous meat products company has died. He passed away Monday at the age of 95 in a hospice facility in Fitchburg, Wis.

Who's got stimulus?

Ohio took back $115 million in stimulus money toward replacing Cleveland’s Innerbelt Bridge.Photo byTony Dejak/Associated Press


Already there's scuttlebutt there may be another stimulus plan in the offing, but you know how the government doesn't know how to quit spending other people's money.

Who's getting stimulus money these days? According to the New York Times, it sure isn't the big cities.

But then, everyone has to complain.

(Caution: Really annoying popups with this article.)

Google OS faces uphill battle

From The Workbench, Reloaded there's more on the so-called Google Chrome OS: Wired says the odds of it making much dent in Windows for a slice of the Netbook market are not real good:

The Wired article

Google to unveil operating system

As reported in The Workbench, Reloaded:

I'll probably play with it at some point.

In fact, you know I will.

I understand this system is free, and I tend to be fearless when it comes to computers.

More than 25% of foreclosures are intentional, economists suggest

A sign of the times; this one from Littleton, Colo., near Denver. Photo by David Zalubowski / AP

The in-the-toilet economy and high foreclosure rates may be a bonanza for some -- like how do you get rid of a house you can't afford? This is from TIME:

Up to 26% of U.S. homeowners who stop paying their mortgage may be doing so intentionally, not because they can't make the payments but because they don't want to put money into a house that's worth less than what they owe. That finding, from a paper by economists at the University of Chicago, Northwestern University and the European University Institute, raises some doubt about the approach the Obama Administration has taken toward stabilizing the housing market. The current approach focuses on whether or not homeowners can afford their monthly payments, and largely ignores the fact that some 20% of homeowners owe more than their house is worth — a situation known as negative equity, or being "underwater," which, according to the paper's findings, may itself trigger default ...

This ain't Disney World, local blogger says

Although it's real easy to dismiss articles or posts from folks who are not from around here and know exactly how to fix your town, this is one of the better ones I've read. It's actually quite clear-eyed.

But I'd still want to cue up the John Lennon music before reading the whole thing ...

... imagine a Charleston with bike lanes along some of the major arteries to make its citizens feel safer? What if certain areas of Downtown became pedestrian-only? What if local zoning ordinances were modified to encourage more of the corner Mom & Pop shops? What if pedicabs were given free reign to cart our citizens around rather than restricting them to a maximum of 15 out at a time? What if we had a light rail radiating in all directions and neighborhoods and towns were built around those stops (just like in New Jersey or Long Island). What if we had an actual water taxi service with accessible docks scattered all over our waterways? (like Vancouver, BC). What if we tried Rails to Trails like DC or Atlanta ...?

OK, she does raise points worth discussing.

Don't forget to wash your hands first

Is there a new demand for this old product? (Photo from ecogeek.org)

No comment necessary here -- this is all a little hard to imagine. I'm always interested in any thinking out of the box, especially if it helps to stretch our planet's resources, but I usually take a nice-work-if-you-can-get-it attitude about such things.

This article by Hank Green of ecogeek.org is interesting, though it's a little technical. Some of the readers' comments are just too good.

Hydrogen seems like a logical choice for fuel - it's energy dense and emits only water upon combustion - but upon closer examination we see that it's extremely expensive to make from water, so all the hydrogen in production today is made from fossil fuels. But Gerardine Botte at Ohio University has figured out an easy and efficient way to break the bonds in urea to produce hydrogen. The process consumes roughly one quarter of the energy needed to electrolyze water. And, yes, the world has a fairly plentiful (and renewable) supply of urea. Maybe not enough to power all our cars, but it's a start.

Interested in knowing how this is done, and you don't mind more technical stuff? Then there's more:

Sanford's wrist slapped but he keeps his head

So Gov. Mark Sanford gets to stay in office, but it's not going to make much difference now. Nor will Sanford.

This is according to Newser:

South Carolina Republicans voted to censure Gov. Mark Sanford last night, but since they didn’t call for his head, he’s likely to keep it, Politico reports. They chided Sanford for failing to adhere to the “core principles and beliefs” of the party, but said that “barring further revelation” that scolding would be “the party’s last word on the matter.”


SC Republicans Vote to Slap Sanford's Wrist - Politics News Briefs | Newser

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Public service announcement: This is NOT a good night for "hey, y'all, watch this!"
~ E

About John Hancock and his buddies

Ever wonder about those guys who signed that inflammatory note to King George III back in 1776?
Here, from ushistory.org, are the profiles of the guys who basically created this great nation:

It's interesting reading.

They don't make 'em like they used to

Dick Cavett (from the New York Times)

While I'm in a (kaboom!) Independence Day state of mind, here are a few thought from Dick Cavett (who has to be about 900 years old now) on pyrotechnics. He misses the good stuff. This is from the New York Times blogs site:

Fireworks ! The word still raises the hair on my arms. (The lower arms, mainly.) Fireworks of all kinds were legal back then in Nebraska, and the opening of the first fireworks stand at the edge of town meant infinitely more to me than the first crocuses did to the flower-worshipper, the robin to the bird-lover . . . well, you get the point ... I didn’t like fireworks. I loved them. (Pyrotechnomania?) And I don’t mean the stuff that girls and sissies liked: fountains, sparklers, pinwheels and those infantile “snakes.” I mean the big stuff. The heavy ordnance. Cherry bombs, torpedoes, aerial bombs, two-, three- and even six-inchers (jumbo firecrackers). And, once, a 12-shot repeater aerial bomb.

Happy reading. Have a blast, along with a safe & sane Fourth!

The stimulus isn't so stimulating , plus a rogue's gallery of suspects

Construction workers on the site of an infrastructure project at the junction of Interstates 490 and 77 in Cleveland, Tuesday 30 June 2009. The project is being funded by government stimulus money as part of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. (Greg Ruffing/Redux for TIME)

-----

OK. It appears the $787 billion stimulus package isn't as stimulating as originally hoped (and I pretty much called it).

Again:

Throwing money at a problem does not fix it.

Throwing money at a problem does not fix it.

Got it? Good.

Anyway, here's an article on life under the stimulus, from TIME:

When Congress passed the stimulus bill in February, it came as both good news and bad news to the Obama White House. The good: never before had an Administration had so much money to spend on voters in need — to rebuild public buildings, save jobs, weatherize homes and fund community health centers. The bad: rarely has the passage of a measure been accompanied by such skepticism about the government's ability to spend the money wisely or well. And ever since, public doubts about the stimulus have, if anything, deepened. The economy deteriorated faster than economists expected, with unemployment now predicted to exceed 10% next year, higher than the White House had projected in January ...

Meanwhile, if you're interested in placing blame for the financial mess we're in, here's a rogue's gallery of 25 likely suspects:

These governors may want to change jobs

Here's an interesting piece from POLITICO, outlining states where things are particularly ugly and the governor may want to consider chucking it all and herding sheep or something:

Forget about the quandary South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford faces as a result of his personal indiscretions ... steep budget shortfalls, rising unemployment rates and intraparty squabbles are currently making life extremely unpleasant for most of the nation’s governors, many of whom are experiencing precipitous declines in their approval ratings ... while it’s a rough time to be running a state, in some places the outlook is really bleak. Here’s POLITICO’s list of the worst places to be governor.

More job losses. The nation's unemployment rate is now 9.5%. Are we in a depression yet?
~ E

The ants go marching, two by two

A queen and worker Argentine ant have many, many relatives (Photo from the BBC)

-----

This is from the BBC; 'nuff said ... eeeeeek!


A single mega-colony of ants has colonised much of the world, scientists have discovered.

Argentine ants living in vast numbers across Europe, the US and Japan belong to the same inter-related colony, and will refuse to fight one another.

The colony may be the largest of its type ever known for any insect species, and could rival humans in the scale of its world domination.

What's more, people are unwittingly helping the mega-colony stick together...

Getting less bang for your buck

(Photo from Newsweek)

The economy is quenching fireworks shows around the country, Newsweek reports.

In Yonkers, N.Y., it was a tough decision: they could either blast some fireworks into the sky to celebrate American independence … or have some extra money (say, $100,000) to pay the police squad overtime. You can imagine what they chose. In Flint, Mich., the Fourth of July festivities were canceled, then saved by a sponsor, then stalled again when the town realized one week wasn't enough time to prepare.

From Arizona to Ohio, savvy bureaucrats have spent the last week trying to save their good ole fashioned fireworks displays. What if, like some folks in Connecticut, they charged each car $5? What if, like Houston, they scaled back the display to something more affordable? What if they begged and bartered with any sponsor or city agency that could swoop in to save the show? Hey, it worked in Tucson, Ariz., where the Pascua Yaqui Tribe donated $20,000 to subsidize the once-canceled show.

Meditations on the Fourth

Charles Mingus in a July 4 frame of mind - This is an album cover from from the Mingus Three (with Hampton Hawes and Dannie Richmond), and for some reason it always reminds me of the holiday. Great photo, and good listening, too. And it was recorded in America.

-----

I always did love July 4. It's a lively holiday, one where you can pretty much set your own agenda. You don't need to buy a bunch of stuff for random people; there's no need to impress anybody. It's your holiday, your way.

But if you're a freedom-loving type like myself, there's even more to like about July 4. That's when you reflect some. Even if things start looking ugly in the USA and the nation's priorities seem bass-ackward, America is still the best place going. Even though our leaders are so busy apologizing about it (and trying to emulate nations in western Europe), we're still the world's only superpower.

The fact I'm able to write the above paragraph and disseminate it on the Internet is proof positive of this statement. Too many other nations and governments would take exception to my look, my opinions, my belief system -- and I'm not always smart enough to avoid trouble that way.

Living here in America is worth celebrating, and I'm gonna do it. Some samples of how it's done:

FIREWORKS: There are still a couple of fireworks manufacturing plants in Rialto, Calif, but the only pyrotechnics I've ever seen from there were purely accidental and involved several fire departments. Here's a rule of thumb: If it lights up and makes loud noises, it's probably from China.

HOT DOGS: Amarican-made, or -grown. I think. I'm not sure where these meat by-products, cattle lips, possum tails, or pork ears come from. You can call it a local prouct, but they're assembled in some plant somewhere by foreign (read: undocumented) labor. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

FLY THE FLAG: I forget where they came from. Sri Lanka? Malaysia? Bangladesh? I don't think there's a textile industry in the United States any more.

FOURTH OF JULY ATTIRE: I do have a T-shirt that sports the stern visage of a bald eagle over a field of red, white, and blue. As if there's any question, the logo reads "Proud To Be An American." It's made in ... Honduras.

THE OUTDOOR GRILL: Made with pride in China. Next question ...

BASEBALL: Good time to check out the Atlanta Braves, also known as America's Team. If you look real hard at the roster, you might find some guys who are from around here. A few, anyway. Catcher Bruce McCann, pitchers Tim Hudson and Blaine Boyer, and outfielder Jeff Franconeur hail from Georgia, while infielders Chipper Jones and Casey Kotchman are Florida natives. A number of foreign countries were represented on their 40-man spring training roster: Panama, Cuba, Mexico, Netherlands Antilles, Australia, Dominican Republic, England, Venezuela, and California.

Maybe GO FOR A DRIVE? Sure ... even if your car is made by one of the Once-Big Three, it's anyone's guesss where it was actually manufactured. Or assembled. Or where the parts came from. Same thing if it's a foreign brand. Toyotas were being assembled in Princeton, Indiana. Greer, South Carolina is home of BMW.

TAKING PICTURES OF THE WHOLE AFFAIR: If you're using a real camera (the kind that takes film), it's from Japan,unless you're rich and have a German-made Hasselblad. If you're taking your pictures with a digital camera, you're wasting my time by asking about that.

I will celebrate at least part of the Fourth on my front stoop with a Cuban cigar. What can be more American than that?

Worried about Swine Flu?

Check the mirror.
If you look like this in the morning ...



... call in sick!

[Special thanks to Elaine for for sending this deranged ... uhh ... whatever it is!]

Yes, but is it sex?

It's all a word game ...

President Bill Clinton said oral sex wasn't sex. South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford says in his latest revelation that he "crossed lines" with women other than his wife and Argentine mistress, but "didn't cross the sex line." He wouldn't say what that meant.

If those distinctions have you confused, you aren't alone. Neither are Clinton and Sanford.

Americans just aren't explicit when they talk about having "had sex."

"Sex is a word and nobody is really in charge of that term," said Kinsey Institute scientist Erick Janssen. "In a way, our thinking of sex and definitions of sex is more complex than they were in the past."

It's getting harder to tell who's really dead

Britney Spears: Dead or alive? (Photo from CNN website)

Like Mark Twain once wrote, rumors of his demise were greatly exaggerated. But with the anything-goes, who-gives-a-rip "news" style on the Internet, it'll be even tougher filtering out the real news from the horse manure. From CNN ...

(CNN) -- After a string of real celebrity deaths last week, the Internet and online social networks killed a few more stars.

Pop star Britney Spears was among those falsely claimed to be dead recently.

Despite what you may have read, Jeff Goldblum, Natalie Portman, George Clooney, Britney Spears, Harrison Ford and Rick Astley are alive ... fake news of their deaths flew across the Internet -- particularly on online social networks like Twitter and Facebook -- after Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon were reported dead.

It's not 'Stand By Your Man'

Photo by The Washington Post

Can you imagine Hillary taking this stance with Bill Clinton in the White House? The Washington Post takes a look at the Jenny Sanford approach:

Finally, a new model for the wronged political spouse ... South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford's let-it-all-hang-out news conference was a different approach, too. But a better one? Pick your poison: staged declaration of politically requisite contrition, or meandering mooning of a love-struck adolescent inhabiting the body of a supposedly grown-up politician. But Jenny Sanford presents a new and improved version of the betrayed political spouse -- neither enabler nor victim.

Looking for a job? Get a job first -- or something

It's common knowledge that the job-seeker who is already employed has an edge anyway (even if it's the psychological advantage of dealing from a position of power.) However, it's looking like having a job is almost a prerequisite for getting a job. From the Wall Street Journal:

With unemployment at 9.4% and rising, it’s a buyer’s market for employers that are hiring. But many employers are bypassing the jobless to target those still working, reasoning that these survivors are the top performers.

“If they’re employed in today’s economy, they have to be first string,” says Ryan Ross, a partner with Kaye/Bassman International Corp., an executive recruiting firm in Dallas. Mr. Ross says more clients recently have indicated that they would prefer to fill positions with “passive candidates” who are working elsewhere and not actively seeking a job.

Court affirms Franken as senator

(Photo from the Star Tribune)

Nearly eight months after the election, it's finally official. But you won't confuse Al Franken with Jesse Ventura ...

The Minnesota Supreme Court ruled today that Democrat Al Franken won the U.S. Senate election and said he was entitled to an election certificate that would lead to him being seated in the Senate.

"Affirmed," wrote the Supreme Court, unanimously rejecting Republican Norm Coleman's claims that inconsistent practices by local elections officials and wrong decisions by a lower court had denied him victory ...

Argentine affair runs deeper than thought

Ya just can't keep a good man down ...

COLUMBIA — South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford admitted Tuesday that he saw his Argentine mistress more times than previously disclosed, including what was to be a farewell meeting in New York chaperoned by a spiritual adviser soon after his wife found out about the affair. In a lengthy and emotional interview with The Associated Press in his Statehouse office, the governor described five meetings with Maria Belen Chapur over the past year, including two romantic, multi-night stays with her in New York before they met there again intending to break up. He said he met her two other times — their first meeting in 2001 ...

===========

Also ...

S.C. Attorney General Henry McMaster today asked the state Law Enforcement Division to review Gov. Mark Sanford's travel records after the governor acknowledged meeting his mistress more times than he had previously said.

Sanford told The Associated Press earlier today that he met with his mistress three times in New York during the past year, in addition to trips he made to South America last summer and earlier this month ...

Immunity takes a DIY slant?

Nahh, stick to Tupperware parties ...

LONDON, England (CNN) -- Health experts are warning parents against holding "swine flu parties" in the hope of infecting their children with the H1N1 virus.

Talk of swine flu parties has emerged on Internet forums. The idea is that exposing a child to the H1N1 virus while it remains relatively mild will give the child immunity if the virus returns in a more virulent form later on ...

Toxicology findings: Michael Jackson was addicted to Oxycontin ("Hillbilly Heroin") & taking lots of Demerol.
~ E

Obit Writers Agree: He Was Peter Pan - Arts

Obit Writers Agree: He Was Peter Pan - Arts & Living News Briefs | Newser

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Playing nanny to the tribes -- again

Knowing the track record governments have with tribes in the Western Hemisphere, why don't I get that nice warm feeling right now?

OTTAWA, June 24 (UPI) -- The Canadian government delayed sending alcohol-based hand sanitizer to Indian reservations battling the H1N1 flu virus out of fears people would drink it ... the news emerged Tuesday in Ottawa when Kim Barker, public health adviser for the Assembly of First Nations, spoke to the Senate committee on aboriginal people, the Globe and Mail reported.

Jackson, before and after becoming weird

Like the Kennedy assassination, the death of Elvis, and the murder of John Lennon, a generation of people will remember exactly where they were when Michael Jackson died.

For the record, I was hanging out with a few friends, eating pizza, when one of my friends got a text message. After an incredulous "no way!" we turned on the TV to see the first reports.

Jackson wasn't exactly a performer who turned my head. Talented, sure. Knew how to deliver a song, definitely. Mixed dance steps with catchy vocals and hook-laden songs, without a doubt. But maybe it's because I'm of a slightly older generation (though Jackson was only a year younger than me), and because my tastes in music lean toward tight, edgy arrangements played on real instruments (leaving most electronic stuff for the amateurs) with occasional, no-nonsense vocals. My music collection has a lot of jazz, a healthy dose of blues, bluegrass, some country, rock, gospel, and classical. There's not a single Jackson side in there anywhere, and the 80s is a decade largely overlooked in my collection.

Years ago I did have one Michael Jackson album, "Off The Wall." It wasn't mine; it belonged to an ex-wife so you could say I married it. Or something. But I did like that album. Michael at the time was in his early 20s, his Jackson Five days were behind him, and he hadn't started getting into those freaky things folks call his persona yet. He was just a young black man with a respectable 'fro, and he was good. Even though his later accomplishments outsold "Off The Wall," I'll look you in the eye and say that album was Jackson at his best.

Somewhere along the line the wheels came off, and the public ate it up. He developed the look, which spurred a lot of comaprisons to the then-woeful Atlanta Braves -- both wore one glove and no one was sure why.

As a musician, I can appreciate the visual aspects of performing. My old mandolin player used to use two benchmarks to judge a musician -- his ability and whether he "looks like a character." I do have my own look and mannerisms when I play -- I'm usually pretty animated, running off all this nervous energy, and I dress a certain way when I'm on, so the mandolin player decided I looked like a character. Michael Jackson definitely looked like a character, that is until he started looking like a nightmare.

I don't consider Jackson a musical superstar. His music, as I mentioned, didn't exactly grab me by the ears. But you can call him a multimedia superstar and I won't dispute that. The music, the dance (good enough to get Fred Astaire's respect), later the filmmaking -- his Thriller was an OK song, but the video was what made it something special. The video also ushered in a new art form as the music went visual.

In the mid-90s and later, Jackson spent less time singing and dancing, and more time just being strange. He became a favorite of the trash tabloids. In the past decade the young black man was transformed to a white dude with witchy hair, decomposed nose, and child molestation charges hanging over his head. And his personal life became a well-documented train wreck. So well-documented that I'm not going to waste space belaboring all of it. That's what tabloids and trash blogs are for.

Michael Jackson was 50 years old, with quite a body of work behind him. Even though he was old enough for AARP membership, you can almost put him in the same camp with John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, Charlie Parker, Hank Williams, or jazz trumpeter Clifford Brown. His career had an open end. There are still questions of what he might have accomplished had he been able to concentrate on his work instead of on being a weirdo. There's still a disquieting feeling that what you heard up until 1990 or so merely hinted at the gift he had in him.

T&A pioneer Fawcett dies

Farrah Fawcett, one of the original Charlie's Angels, dies at 62.

Will Argentinan firecracker blow up Sanford's career?

It was probably the last thing I would have expected. On Wednesday, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford admitted that it was a strange woman at the root of his spectacular meltdown.

He'd been gone for six days, and his staff said he was out hiking the Appalachian Trail. On Wednesday, he said he'd been in Argentina with a woman he'd had an affair with for a year.

Whether it will signal the end of a political career that had lots of topspin, time will tell. You can bet, though, his credibility is shot right now, his conservative agenda is damaged, and he might as well cancel any Presidential plans for 2012.

Am I disappointed? You'd better believe it.

Sanford built his political career around being different. A maverick before it became a buzzword. A stand-up guy who followed his own convictions, no matter what the folks in his own party had to say about it.

Because of this, I became a big Sanford fan. It doesn't hurt that he's not pure Republican; the best way I can describe his politics is that he's a libertarian in elephant's clothing. If it wasn't for his almost total lack of charisma, and the fact Sarah Palin looks much better on a campaign poster, Sanford may well have been the Party's vice presidential candidate last year. And he may have made some difference, too, as the McCain camp did its level best to muzzle Palin after her nomination and she became a non-factor.

For a guy like Sanford, pulling a creep with an Argentinan hottie seems awfully, well, common. Drinking and womanizing are historically favorite hobbies of your run-of-the-mill politicians. If an implosion was in the cards for Sanford, I would have expected something more ... creative?

Running off to follow Widespread Panic would have been more of what I would have expected. Or renouncing civilization, growing a beard, and living among the grizzly bears. Being snatched by aliens. A trip to rehab to break a raging Mountain Dew habit. Or forming an ashram with Jerry Brown.

Even without the Argtentinan firecracker, Sanford would have been hard pressed to excuse his actions. There's no way around that. But I think the public is much quicker to forgive if he'd merely taken off without notice to go on what Australians call a "walkabout."

Before Sanford's Wednesday afternoon news conference, I began to think his adventure had something much deeper at bottom. Although I would be reaching to suggest something like a meltdown from depression, that did cross my mind.

As a depressive in good standing, I can tell you a little about this. We depressives are capable of doing some pretty bizarre things while on an extended low. Disappearing acts can be part of it. Impulsive behavior can be a part of it.

Of course I'm reaching here, but events of the past few months could trigger a meltdown if Sanford was prone to such things. He'd been in a fight with the state legislature over his stance on accepting federal bailout money. He watched as the legislature overrode all 10 of his gubernatorial vetoes, and the unspoken signal the House and Senate sent him was, "what do we need you for?" Even a well-balanced person can approach the razor's edge of sanity after all that.

Again, I'm not suggesting depression for Sanford, and it's extremely dangerous for a layman -- even a well-meaning layman -- to play curbstone psychiatrist. In fact, the world be a much brighter place if a whole bunch of these self-appointed "psych experts" were eaten by piranhas.

I'd hate to think Sanford pooched his political career over some South American woman. He said he does plan to stay in office to try to "rebuild the people's trust." Unlike the Eliot Spitzers, John Edwardses, and John Ensigns of this world, Sanford is one officeholder who is worth it.

WTMA ALERT: Sanford admits affair!!!!!

Battery Life: The ABCs of YMMV

Wonder why your laptop batteries don't seem to last as advertised? Is it really false advertising (as if there's any other kind)?

Just click over to The Workbench, Reloaded to read it, huh?

MIA Gov. plot thickens: South America?

This is from the Post & Courier. An excerpt:

Gov. Mark Sanford’s staff continued to tell the public Tuesday night that the governor was hiking along the Appalachian Trail even after a reporter greeted him at the Atlanta airport on his way home from a vacation in Buenos Aires, Argentina ... Sanford told the State Media Company that he decided at the last minute to go to South America to recharge after a tough legislative session. He told his staff he might go hiking.

"But I said 'no' I wanted to do something exotic ... It's a great city," he said during an interview at the Hartsville-Jackson International Airport.

Sanford said he was alone on the trip and declined to give any additional details other than to say he drove along the coastline.

Confused yet?

Alarm clocks join vinyl, 8-tracks in scrap heap

(Photo by Christina Snyder, from the Lifehacker site)

I used to hate them, and now I have no real reason to have one in my house.

Except for a small battery-operated number that I never use, alarm clocks are passe in my life. And this is not because I don't need  to wake up at a certain time (which I do) or because I've trained myself to wake up without help (are you kidding?). But just about everything comes with an alarm these days.

Sometime within the next decade you might see alarm clocks in a museum exhibit with the manual typewriter, the LP record, the eight-track tape, the DOS computer. Although I miss some of these blasts from the past, I can only say good riddance to the alarm clock.

I saw an interesting survey on the Lifehacker Web site the other day. Admittedly, Lifehacker readers tend to the geeky and are likelier to buy into technology for technology's sake. But as of Monday, 6,111 people (including myself) responded to the question of what equipment has replaced the alarm clock. Here's the breakdown:

----------------------

Cell phone -- 59% (3,585 votes)
Personal note: I was one of the 3,585. Surprising; I'm usually not in the majority about anything.

The classic alarm clock -- 26% (1,577 votes)
Watch -- 1% (45 votes)
Computer -- 3% (154 votes)
Dog/cat/pet -- 1% (71 votes)
The kid(s) -- 2% (150 votes)
An iPod/MP3 player/portable device -- 4% (227 votes)
Other -- 5% (302 votes)

Total Votes -- 6111

-----------------------------

A question here: The survey doesn't differentiate between the old-style alarm clock and the clock-radio. I've used both, but I've found the only type of radio station to be reliable in waking me up is an all-news station. That's what I used in college. The alarm would go off, the news would click on, and I could find out whether space aliens took the planet hostage while I slept. And if they didn't, it meant I had no excuse to miss my 8:00 class.

As mentioned, I use my cell phone. It's pretty automatic; I set it once for the day and time (5:15 a.m. Monday through Friday), decide on a ring tone, and I'm good to go. I also have a "warning" alarm to remind me to quit whatever I'm doing and point myself toward work. To this day I'm not sure whether I'm ADD or not; it's safer to assume I am when it's time to get to work.

I've also used a watch, back when I wore one. Too quiet, and too easy to throw against the wall when the alarm goes off. My dog has been my wake-up service a few times, but she wakes me up when she wants rather than when I want. Still, she's a handy backup.

When I last owned a landline phone, I used the voice-mail system to wake me up. I'd call, leave a message, and set it to ring at a certain time. This was actually kind of cool, like having your own wake-up service. The only drawback was that the wake-up message was in my own voice, and that's probably the last thing I want to hear so early in the morning. There are times when I scare even myself.

Wives and girlfriends also make handy wake-up devices, but to my experience they're much harder to program than a DVD player. I've never been able to get one out of the default setting, which sounds something like "GET YOUR (!!!) OUT OF BED, YOU LAZY ESSOBEE!"

In the interest of geekiness I've tried using my computer as a wake-up system. I wish I remember how I did it; it was a really cool trick. I wrote a shell script (think .bat file for you old DOS types) that would crank up the computer volume, play a handful of carefully-selected wake-up songs, and pop my day's agenda onto the screen. Songs included "Iron Man" (Eric Dolphy), "Tonight At Noon" (Charles Mingus), "Countdown" (John Coltrane), and maybe a few bluegrass tunes. Fast, rousing, high-octane stuff. But -- welcome to the world of computers -- it takes too long and requires too much thought to set it up as a wake-up system. I got a computer to simplify and enrich my life, not to make it more complicated.

But I'm good with that cell phone. I can flip it open and find the snooze button without waking up. And since I need that phone to communicate, I haven't thrown it yet. Even if I do, 5:15 is when my dog's kidneys wake up. When they don't sleep, no one sleeps.

Ed McMahon dies

Cash4Gold, Ed McMahon and MC Hammer - The Best and Worst Super Bowl Commercials 2009 - TIME

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This is not the best way to remember Ed McMahon ... he basically invented the TV sidekick role, and provided one of the greatest Jack Nicholson movie lines (in The Shining.)

But Ed was able to poke fun at his much-publicized troubles. That's a class act.

Would you buy a new car from ... ?

Seems China has competition in its bid to become the newest player in the world automotive scene. By the end of the year you might be able to get a pickup truck produced in ... India?

In fact, India's first vehicles will probably be available before anything from China. Not sure whether this is good or bad news.l

Here's the CNN story on that.

Now, I'm *not* looking forward to seeing these vehicles -- Indian or Chinese -- on a NASCAR track. I mean, some things are just plain wrong.

Hiking Governor draws comparisons to who?

Gov. Sanford's "disappearance" wasn't really that much of a mystery, at least to the folks here in South Carolina, but here's the CNN story now that the whole thing is "solved."

And a comment from one of my readers in the People's Republic of California:

"Your guy is starting to make our guy look good!" (Thanks, Mom!)

Now, that's a big difference between Sanford and the Governator. At least Arnold would toss off a trademark "I'll be back" before hitting the trail.

Update: Gov. Sanford is out hiking the Appalachian Trail, according to his staff. So he didn't even tell his wife ...
~ E

SC Gov. Mark Sanford has been MIA for a few days; no one's worried. Seems he takes off to recharge after tough battles ...
~ E

There's gotta be a catch, right?

Here's the good news: The $100 house is real.

Here's the bad news: It's in Detroit.

No joke, according to CNN:

Literal translation: What's a few more Mexicans?

This just in, from Newser:

(Newser) – The World Health Organization is set to declare the first influenza pandemic in more than 40 years, health sources tell Reuters, triggering heightened measures in 193 countries. Flu experts have advised elevating the risk of swine flu to phase 6, the highest level. That designation refers to the geographical spread of the disease, not the severity—and public health officials now say that swine flu is a relatively mild disease.

"Pandemic means global, but it doesn't have any connotation of severity or mildness," said one WHO official. "This event is really a moderate event for the time being, because the numbers are high but the disease is overwhelmingly mild." To date 27,737 people have been infected with swine flu in 74 countries, but only 141 have died, mostly in Mexico.
Source: Reuters

Economics 101: How the stimulus REALLY works

(Special thanks to my brother Rick for sending this along.) -- Eric

Y'all might find this enlightening ... or not. But it goes like this:

It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to choose one.

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower.

The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel.

The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.

The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.
At that moment, the tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government under President Obama and the State of California under Governor Arnold are doing business today.

You know you are living in 2009 when ...

(Special thanks to Jennifer from the People's Republic of California, who sent this along!)
-- Eric


1. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You're reading this and nodding and laughing...

12 Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message

13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

14. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list..

Cell phone what?

Forget about sports injuries, and don't even think about carpal tunnel syndrome anymore. This is the new repetitive-motion injury of the ages.

I reckon cauliflower ear is something that goes with Cell Phone Elbow ...

Are they planning a bake sale?

According to The Governator, The People's Republic of California is broke. Tapped out. Flat busted.
~ E

Testing out the perfect killing machine

Warmer stickier weather here in the South Carolina Lowcountry is bringing the usual byproduct: Bugs. Lots of 'em, and all kinds.

Yes, it's time to break out the roach traps, the mosquito repellent (DEET is the favored perfume this time of year), the bug zapper (which together with the lawn chairs and your favorite potable beverage makes for some first-rate family entertainment).

And if you're like me and prefer to keep windows open, you're sending out invitations for all this wildlife to move into your digs.

Because of this, I decided to break down and get me a fly swatter. But not just any fly swatter. This one's called Sergeant Swat.

You know the guy who invented the pet rock (I'm really dating myself here) is probably living on his own island right now, doing nothing more strenuous than playing with his investments. All because he took an ordinary item (in this case a random hunk of mineral), and sold zillions of them. You didn't buy it for the rock. You bought it for the instructions; they were pure genius. Same with the guy who designed the Weather String -- a piece of string you'd hang outside. The instructions told you that if it was wet it probably meant rain.

I picked up Sergeant Swat merely because it was there, it was cheap, it looked like it was pretty well designed, and it had some heft. If you're going to swat a fly, you don't want to just stun it. You want severe collateral damage, some serious splatter. You want shock and awe; hopefully it will serve as a deterrent to the rest of the fly community.

Other than that, it's pretty standard fly swatter design: The handle is metal wire like a coat hanger, and the business end is plastic, shaped like your standard killing instrument. All around, though, it is thicker. The head is about twice as thick as I usually see on this device, and the tip is beveled -- making it easier to scrape up all the fly parts.

Unpacking the fly swatter, I checked out the instructions on the attached card: "A military spec swatter for the toughest pests!"

The features of Sergeant Swat, according to the instructions:

- "Recoilless design allows for swat-attacks on even the largest of flying prey." I wonder how it is on bats? They kind of freak me out, especially when they're flying too close to my neck.

- "Precision manufactured flapper and super strong steel handle creates the most lethal flying pest killing apparatus the world has ever seen."

I soon got to test this apparatus out. Fluttering around on my living room wall was either a mosquito or pterodactyl (in South Carolina they're identical); a quick lefthanded backhanded flick sent him off to the Promised Land. There was little left but a grease spot on my wall and a few legs sticking out of it; I'm not sure what happened to the actual critter itself.

This was so cool. In my hands I had the perfect killing machine. My mindset is a lot more hawk than dove anyway, but I actually spent a few minutes on patrol in my house, looking for more bugs to squish.

OK, should I run out of flies, the instructions -- I'm not kidding -- list some "civilian uses" for the swatter:

- "For those that don't mind spreading a little bug shrapnel, try it as a backscratcher." No need. I can always find a fencepost or stucco wall someplace.

- "Canoe paddle, never know when you'll be up that creek without a real one." I'm going to have to keep that in mind; that's where I spend much of my life.

- "Redneck badminton." Being a redneck in good standing, I must take offense to this. Badminton is a sport for interior decorators.

- "Manual mouse-trap." Maybe this answers my question about the bats, which I consider to be nothing but rats with wings.

With a nod to the People's Republic of California and their ridiculous product-labeling laws, a few cautions are listed. Here's one:

- "While Sergeant Swat is effective on most campsite pests, it has been shown to only aggravate bears." I wonder who found this out, and whatever happened to him?

But then, I hear different things on what to do should you encounter a bear in the wild. Some species are scared off if you make a bunch of noise. Others will get real cranky and use you as a chew toy. Unfortunately, I never could remember which species is which.

One misgiving: While Sergeant Swat is marketed by Willert Home Products in St. Louis, the instruction card announces the swatter itself is made in China.

I'm wondering how much of our nation's big-time weaponry is also made in China. Should I be very very afraid now?