The Column

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

They vote and reproduce: DIY circumcisions, Bernie's back

I've mentioned the concept of home surgeries in previous posts, but only as a joke. Anything I say in that regard, do not take seriously ...

According to the Toronto Sun, this guy is oh-for-two on do-it-yourself circumcisions ... one on his son, and earlier, on (gasp) himself:

... the boy's father, who subscribes to a religious philosophy that incorporates Hebrew elements, previously tried to circumcise himself and also had to seek medical help... Court heard he put his son on the floor on some clean garbage bags and towels, with Band-Aids and a veterinary powder used to stop bleeding standing by... The man tried to drug his young son with wine and told him lie still, but he apparently jerked during the procedure, causing the man's hand to slip while cutting the foreskin ...

We will have to pause for a big Ouch!

Obviously, his surgical technique still needs work. Volunteers, anyone?

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Bernie rides again, for Halloween

One of my favorite guilty pleasures was that movie, "Weekend At Bernie's," the one where the dead guy turns out to be a world-class party animal, travelin' man, and celebrated Lothario. Of course I saw the original and the sequel several times, and if I knew another "Weekend" was coming out I'd see that too.

But Bernie, or a reasonable 75-year-old facsimile lives on. Or something. This is according to the L.A. Times (through Boing Boing), and this is one of those things I can't make up:

... the body of a 75-year-old LA area man who died Monday sat decomposing on his balcony for four days because his neighbors figured the corpse was part of a Halloween display ... he died of a single gunshot wound to the eye ... neighbors on the 13900 block of Bora Bora Way told Raishbrook that they noticed the body Monday "but didn't bother calling authorities because it looked like a Halloween dummy," he said. "The body was in plain view of the entire apartment complex [and] they all didn't do anything," Raishbrook said. "It's very strange. It did look unreal, to be honest."

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