'Dog' bitten by private phone call ... what private?

Looks like phone calls are not private anymore.

Over the past few days, TV bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman has been weathering a storm since a phone conversation of his was aired on National Enquirer. The Arts And Entertainment (A&E) network put his reality show on hold, civil rights groups are taking his name in vain, and Chapman is making apologies as fast as he can.

Like anybody should care, right? Another entertainment figure pilloried by the tabloids. Big deal. Dog is in fast company, and in some ways this is a right of passage for celebrities. And, as a rule I don't care for pop journalism and don't really give a damn about what the Britneys and K-Feds or even O.J. Simpsons of this world are doing. But, the developments surrounding Dog's phone call have captured my full attention.

Here's the quick background: This controversy stems from a private phone conversation where Chapman is voicing his displeasure at his son's choice of girlfriends. Private family stuff, right? OK, he tossed around a few cuss words and a few derogatory terms that start with an N. I'm sure he's not the only one to have had such phone conversations. So how in the hell did the Enquirer get the taped transcript? So far, no one's said anything about that.

And to ride the slippery slope a bit, how private are your own phone conversations?

I'm going to pause and put on my tinfoil hat; please bear with me. Most cell phones are digital these days and a lot harder to pick up with a scanner than the old analog phone. However, a person with an Internet connection, a credit card, some resourcefulness and a *lot* of time on his hands can find ways to intercept and record other people's phone calls. A quick Google search unearthed a few options, and here's one sample.

As we're seeing, private is no longer private. And, what with this nation's interest in homeland security (and the people's willingness to give up some rights just to make their world appear a little safer), this can be a real dangerous thing.

I use email a lot, and I have no illusions about my messages being totally private. Such things are just not possible anymore. Although I love the convenience that Gmail gives me (along with some of the other Google applications), I still get those strange feelings when I see how closely the text ads on the Gmail sidebar match my subject matter. I do use some online applications and file storage for things that are not terribly sensitive, but I'm not going to use my Gmail space to store things like phone numbers, bank information, notes for my (forever unwritten) 1,000-page novel, or the charts for my ending to Schubert's Unfinished Symphony. And I'm not gonna use my cell phone to discuss such matters. I mean, that's just plain stupid.

I guess if there is such a thing as thought police in our future, it's not very far away.