From room-to-rent ad: Guess who gets the benefits?

I ran across this ad in Craigslist today, and it gives me an idea of what this world is coming to:

Male Musician with 2 bedroom apartment looking for female musician roomate with benefits ... someone who is a light drinker and 420 friendly ... no hard drugs and I will be able to find out if you do use them ... your cost would be $500 per month which includes electric, water, sattlelite tv and internet ... I keep a clean apartment and you must do the same ... You MUST have verifiable employment ... I have young children that visit me ... you will have access to pa system and recording gear ...

I'm totally serious. This is a real ad. I edited it some to get rid of the obviously identifiable details -- partly because I know a lot of musicians in this neck of the woods, many of them know me, and I don't feel like getting death threats right now.

Meanwhile, let's take a look at the ad, running it through the bravo sierra translator:

Roommate with benefits: Guess.

420 friendly: Doesn't mind the occasional left-handed cigarette. Like, every half hour. This may be required for said benefits.

I will be able to find out if you use them: Creepazoid. Stalker in training. Next question?

$500 per month: Keeping in mind this is an apartment. Also known as being screwed twice.

Young children that visit me: Just what they need to see, Dad passing around a left-handed cigarette and collecting the aforementioned benefits. Horrendously maladjusted already, and they will likely grow up to be just like Dad. New roommate gets to babysit while Dad goes out and does what he does. During visits the young children will sleep in one of the two bedrooms, meaning the applicant gets to sleep ... guess again.

Access to a PA system and recording gear: You know this isn't free. See: Benefits.

If this cat actually gets takers, he will really be dipping in the shallow end of the gene pool.

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