Welcome to the political world, South Carolina style.
On Tuesday, some guy named Alvin Greene won the Democratic primary for United States Senate, to go against conservative Jim Demint.
Alvin who?
That's what the Democrats are wondering. House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn called for an investigation into the campaign. Party leaders are calling for Greene to step aside and let a real candidate run. Some party officials have even questioned his mental state. Greene, however, is saying he'll continue his run.
It's pretty obvious that South Carolina Democrats had a mass rectal-cranial inversion when they went to the voting booths this time around.
By all accounts the 32-year-old Greene is an unemployed veteran, and no one is sure where he was able to pony up the $10,400 filing fee.
On top of that, Greene was arrested last November for felony obscenity, which he chooses not to comment on. But none of this stuff came up until after his nomination.
He beat out former legislator Victor Rawl for the nomination, with 59 percent of the vote. Besides his background, Rawl has a campaign war chest of $186,000 while Greene doesn't have a pot to pee in.
"60 percent (of the vote) is not luck," Greene told MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann. "It's a decisive win."
Interesting, considering he really didn't campaign. No one knew who he was. There was no indication he did any traveling. there is an "unofficial" website for him, which he says is not an authoritative campaign site. There was also a Twitter account for him, but he said that was not his either. It has since been taken down; a wise move considering he has far fewer followers than even my modest 635.
And Democrats are saying Greene is nothing but a Republican plant, a tomato can set up to run against top target DeMint. But Greene says that isn't so.
"I have always been a Democrat, and I will always be a Democrat."
His chief campaign pitch is the need for jobs. That's a natural one for Greene, as he also needs a job.
You absolutely must check out this interview with Olbermann. It's a real hoot. Folks on Twitter are calling it "the most WTF interview ever" (I'm not gonna explain what that means). Greene sounds out of it, uncomfortable, inarticulate in the interview, even with Olbermann's softball questions.
According to Mother Jones Magazine, Greene is on intimate terms with these WTF moments:
"Greene insists that he paid the $10,400 filing fee and all other campaign expenses from his own personal funds. 'It was 100 percent out of my pocket. I'm self-managed. It's hard work, and just getting my message to supporters. I funded my campaign 100 percent out of my pocket and self-managed,' said Greene, who sounded anxious and unprepared to speak to the public. But despite his lack of election funds, Greene claims to have criss-crossed the state during his campaign—though he declined to specify any of the towns or places he visited or say how much money he spent while on the road. 'It wasn't much, I mean, just, it was—it wasn't much. Not much, I mean, it wasn't much, he said, when asked how much of his own money he spent in the primary. Greene frequently spoke in rapid-fire, fragmentary sentences, repeating certain phrases or interrupting himself multiple times during the same sentence while he searched for the right words. But he was emphatic about certain aspects of his candidacy, insisting that details about his campaign organization, for instance, weren't relevant. 'I'm not concentrating on how I was elected -- it's history. I'm the Democratic nominee -- we need to get talking about America back to work, what's going on, in America.'
Has anybody figured out what he said yet? If so, please email me a translation.
Imagine how he'd do in a real debate, or in a conversation with a real reporter, providing there are any of those left. He'd be chopped up into cat food.
Not that this seems to make any difference with South Carolina Democrats. They voted for a name and a face, with no other information.
Shoot, if voters are that stupid, they deserve whatever candidate they get.
Meanwhile, it looks like it's gonna be fun times in good ol' South Kackilacky this November.
By all accounts the 32-year-old Greene is an unemployed veteran, and no one is sure where he was able to pony up the $10,400 filing fee.
On top of that, Greene was arrested last November for felony obscenity, which he chooses not to comment on. But none of this stuff came up until after his nomination.
He beat out former legislator Victor Rawl for the nomination, with 59 percent of the vote. Besides his background, Rawl has a campaign war chest of $186,000 while Greene doesn't have a pot to pee in.
"60 percent (of the vote) is not luck," Greene told MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann. "It's a decisive win."
Interesting, considering he really didn't campaign. No one knew who he was. There was no indication he did any traveling. there is an "unofficial" website for him, which he says is not an authoritative campaign site. There was also a Twitter account for him, but he said that was not his either. It has since been taken down; a wise move considering he has far fewer followers than even my modest 635.
And Democrats are saying Greene is nothing but a Republican plant, a tomato can set up to run against top target DeMint. But Greene says that isn't so.
"I have always been a Democrat, and I will always be a Democrat."
His chief campaign pitch is the need for jobs. That's a natural one for Greene, as he also needs a job.
You absolutely must check out this interview with Olbermann. It's a real hoot. Folks on Twitter are calling it "the most WTF interview ever" (I'm not gonna explain what that means). Greene sounds out of it, uncomfortable, inarticulate in the interview, even with Olbermann's softball questions.
According to Mother Jones Magazine, Greene is on intimate terms with these WTF moments:
"Greene insists that he paid the $10,400 filing fee and all other campaign expenses from his own personal funds. 'It was 100 percent out of my pocket. I'm self-managed. It's hard work, and just getting my message to supporters. I funded my campaign 100 percent out of my pocket and self-managed,' said Greene, who sounded anxious and unprepared to speak to the public. But despite his lack of election funds, Greene claims to have criss-crossed the state during his campaign—though he declined to specify any of the towns or places he visited or say how much money he spent while on the road. 'It wasn't much, I mean, just, it was—it wasn't much. Not much, I mean, it wasn't much, he said, when asked how much of his own money he spent in the primary. Greene frequently spoke in rapid-fire, fragmentary sentences, repeating certain phrases or interrupting himself multiple times during the same sentence while he searched for the right words. But he was emphatic about certain aspects of his candidacy, insisting that details about his campaign organization, for instance, weren't relevant. 'I'm not concentrating on how I was elected -- it's history. I'm the Democratic nominee -- we need to get talking about America back to work, what's going on, in America.'
Has anybody figured out what he said yet? If so, please email me a translation.
Imagine how he'd do in a real debate, or in a conversation with a real reporter, providing there are any of those left. He'd be chopped up into cat food.
Not that this seems to make any difference with South Carolina Democrats. They voted for a name and a face, with no other information.
Shoot, if voters are that stupid, they deserve whatever candidate they get.
Meanwhile, it looks like it's gonna be fun times in good ol' South Kackilacky this November.
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