The Column

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Airport security: A modest proposal

I'm not sure who originally wrote this, but I like the idea. It was one of those Fw: emails that crosses my transom, sent by my mom.


In all, it sounds like a good workable solution. Later with all these pat-downs at the airport security line and invading your carry-on luggage. This is quick, clean (well, sort of), and cheap in the long run.


Here it is:


Here's the solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners and racial profiling at the airports:


Have a booth that you can step into that will not x-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your body. It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this crap about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift.


This is so simple that it's brilliant. I can see it now. You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, "Attention standby passengers. We now have a seat available on flight number 4665 .... Paging maintenance. Shop Vac needed in booth number 4."


See, it could work. Who's with me on this?


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