Financial spin, explained:

The White House take on Chrysler's impending bankruptcy could well become a classic in the art of manufacturing BS.

Now this "surgical bankruptcy" ... is that another name for being taken apart?

Here's a conundrum: Is 'felony stupidity' illegal?

'Cause if it is, our entire executive branch of government should be indicted, along with our legislative branch ...

... and all of the public sector ...

... and much of the private sector ...

Well, you can make up your own list as well.

(Here's the news story that raised this question.)

GM to cut 20,000 jobs and shut down Pontiac. Are we in a depression yet?
~ E

'Miss Principled' title trumps Miss USA any time

You've probably figured by now that the Miss USA Pageant just isn't the forum for saying anything controversial or halfway intelligent. At least, that's what Miss California, Carrie Prejean, is figuring out.

Prejean believes her comments on gay marriage probably cost her the Miss USA crown, but to her credit she's taking nothing back. She's standing by her statements, much to her credit.

During last Sunday's pageant, celebrity gossip blogger and Miss USA judge Perez Hilton, asked Prejean about her views on gay marriage. Now, keep in mind the pageant is a pure Hollywood thing, and she is representing an extremely liberal state. But here's Prejean's answer:

"I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised."

Whoops. Wrong audience. Not the most prudent thing to say, especially to a question posed by Hilton, who is (as the PC crowd would say) upfront about his own homosexuality. Like, he describes himself as "the gossip queen." And Hilton has since led the attack on Prejean, ripping her in his blog.

So far, Prejean is taking these attacks in stride. "I have to laugh it off, she says. "It's so funny."

Prejean came in first runner-up to Miss North Carolina, and probably didn't get much consideration for Miss Congeniality. But she scored big on some things our society used to value.

"It did cost me my crown," Prejean says. "It is a very touchy subject and [Hilton] is a homosexual, and I see where he was coming from and I see the audience would've wanted me to be more politically correct. But I was raised in a way that you can never compromise your beliefs and your opinions for anything."

Now, that's huge. Too bad there's no such thing as Miss Principled in that pageant, or anywhere else for that matter. I guess following your heart, sticking by your beliefs, or having actual convictions doesn't "sell" anymore.

Is there a problem with making sure you don't offend the other person? You'd better believe there's a problem. Playing this trend to its ultimate, what you'll have is a bunch of people who look the same, act the same, have no opinions of their own, and have no personalities of their own. Which is a good thing, I reckon, if you want an absolutely ordered (read: dead) society that will do the bidding of whoever jumps to the front of the herd.

Standing out just isn't popular. Or easy. It takes a heaping helping of guts to do this, especially when the majority is quite content to be sheep.

I like how CNN columnist Roland S. Martin put it: "The day we condemn folks for speaking honestly is the day we become a bland society."

What scares me is that maybe we're already there.

Obammunism 101, explained by The Post

OK. So what's Obama up to now?

Here's an analysis by Washington Post columnist Charles Krauthammer.

Don't worry. None of us will be alive when the bill for all this stuff comes up anyway.

Sort of like counting jelly beans in a jar?

This footage was shot in Phoenix, Arizona, no surprise there. And I lost count after 24.

Freddie Mac's woes continue

This will bring out the conspiracy theorists, guaranteed:

NEW YORK (MarketWatch) -- The acting chief financial officer of Freddie Mac was found dead at his home Wednesday morning in an apparent suicide. David Kellermann, acting chief financial officer at the government-controlled mortgage company, was found dead at his home in Fairfax County, Va ...

(The news story was from marketwatch.com.)

Going mobile with submini laptop

OK, I've gone portable, kinda sorta. Here's my take on subminiature laptops (known in the trade as netbooks) in general, and the Acer Aspire One in particular.

Are netbooks hip, or are they just hype? Read about it in The Workbench, Reloaded ...

Having fun with mobility and blogs

That last post was sent via cellphone and text message, which is something I'd been playing with for some time.

Now, it appears I've cracked the combination.

I guess this now means I'll need to find another use for my Twitter account -- like, maybe twitter?

==========

[You tell me! Now that I have that experiment out of the way and it appears to be a successful one, what should I do with my Twitter account? Use the Commets section for suggestions, but PLEASE keep it clean ...]

Turn Off Technology Week is allegedly coming. I wonder if there's a Web site for it?
~ E

What really counts among generations

Don't think I can add much to this here; and the older I get the more sense it makes. This was sent to me some time ago (can't remember who; must be my Ericheimer's kicking in).

Anyway, enjoy.

Fidrych had too much fun to fit in

In some ways, The Bird's coming-out party may have been the last great moment in baseball. The game just hasn't been the same since.
Let's flash back. It's 1976, and I'm finishing high school. My California Angels (OK, this is a real flashback; this was two name changes ago) are in for another lousy year. Things were so bad that their manager said they could stage batting practice in a hotel lobby without breaking anything.
Meanwhile, up in the Motor City there was this goofy-looking kid mowing down the American League's best hitters, and doing it with a sense of style and enjoyment that you just don't see anymore.
Mark Fidrych may be the answer to a trivia question now, but back then he was on a whole 'nother planet. Somehow he cracked the Detroit Tigers' starting rotation, and before long he became the talk of baseball.
It was on a nationally-televised Monday night game that The Bird pitched his best game, and this became his coming-out party. The Tigers beat the New York Yankees, 5-1, but that was secondary. Fidrych had his best stuff, and showed that being special had nothing to do with throwing the ball.
Kind of a goofy-looking guy; tall and gangly, with hair like Harpo Marx, he did look like some character from Sesame Street. He'd start each inning by getting down on his hands and knees, landscaping the pitcher's mound. Getting it just the way he liked it. Then he'd stand up, not much of a windup, rear back, and dial up a 90-something mph fastball. Of course he would lead cheers from the mound, bouncing around after every out. The Energizer Bunny had nothing on this guy.
He explained that his habit of fixing the mound was because each pitcher tended to dig his own hole from which he could push off for maximum effectiveness. The problem was, not all pitchers put that hole in the same place, and Fidrych said he didn't want to fall into some other pitcher's excavation. Which makes sense, by the way, but it was the way he did his landscaping that captured attention. And baqseball is really a conservative sport; anyone who does things just a little bit differently is a flake, especially if he enjoys being different. Fidrych brought enough naivete into the picture to become a real flake -- as if he didn't understand what all this brouhaha was about.
But there was more. Between pitches you'd see his lips move while he was holding the ball in front of him. Fidrych swore he was just vocalizing, reminding himself of what he needed to do next, but it sure looked like he was tallking to the baseball. Of course, with a zany-looking hyperactive guy like him, you're naturally going to believe he was really talking to the ball. In all, he was a refreshing character, an unspoiled kid playing a game while most of the other players acted like they were on the job or something.
After that great game on national TV, the fans called him back onto the field for a curtain call. Fidrych had already taken off his shoes but came back out anyway, in his stocking feet. The TV cameras gave baseball fans a panoramic view of his stockinged feet, adding to the legend of The Bird.
Here's Wikipedia's account of that game:
June 28: Fidrych was in the spotlight, as the Tigers faced the Yankees on Monday Night Baseball. In front of a crowd of 47,855 at Tiger Stadium and a national television audience, "The Bird" talked to the ball and groomed the mound, as the Tigers won, 5-1 in a game that lasted only 1 hour and 51 minutes. After the game, the crowd would not leave the park until Fidrych came out of the dugout to tip his cap. In his book "No Big Deal," Fidrych said: "Everyone picks out that game. Why? Why is that game -- just 'cause it's on national TV and I won? Say it was national TV and I lost. Right?"
Back then, teams used four starters instead of five, and they were expected to finish their games. In his rookie year he threw 24 complete games (with an earned-run average of 2.34) and 250 innings -- now, a pitcher with 200 innings in a season is considered a real horse, and Johan Santana, regarded as a real tough guy among today's pitchers, has thrown nine complete games in his entire career.
In spring training of 1977, he'd blown out his knee while shagging fly balls in his enthusiastic manner. Then later wrecked his shoulder. He stuck in The Show five years, all with the Tigers. His won-loss record in that first year was 19-9; the remaining four years he was able to scrape together another five wins and five losses.
During The Bird's heyday, there were rumblings about changes coming to The Game. The Supreme Court had already dealt a death blow to the reserve clause in the Curt Flood case, ruling that the Cardinals outfielder was free to sign with anyone. Other court decisions made pitchers Dave McNally and Andy Messersmith free agents, and Messersmith signed a scandalously huge contract to pitch for the hapless Atlanta Braves. Already that was high-dollar stuff compared to Fidrych's rookie salary of $16,500. (A man of simple tastes, Fidrych told sportswriters then that he owned three dishes -- a plate, a fork, and a knife.) But it wasn't until the end of 1976 that guys like Reggie Jackson, Joe Rudi, Don Baylor, and Wayne Garland became free agents and, eventually, millionaires. Garland, a young pitcher, built his free-agent case on the strength of one good year, and signed something like a 10-year contract just before blowing out his pitching arm. Prior to the 1980 season, Nolan Ryan signed baseball's first contract calling for $1 million a year, and the game had undergone some real sea changes.
After a few attemped comebacks, Fidrych left the game for good in 1983, taking his damaged shoulder and knee with him. He later owned a trucking business and worked his farm im Massachusetts.
His story wasn't that unique. Baseball lore is full of guys like Herb Score and Karl Spooner, players who were brilliant one minute and gone the next. And back then, pro ballplayers couldn't consider themselves set for life. Most players had some other work that kept the income flowing in the off-season. The Floods, Messersmiths, Jacksons, Baylors, and Ryans saw to it that off-season work became a thing of the past for major leaguers. But for his shoulder and knee miseries, Fidrych would have been at the top of some free agent class, commanding some highly improbable salary. But he wouldn't have fit into baseball's new jet set. He was enjoying himself too much to ever fit in.
Earlier this week, Mark Fidrych was killed in a farming accident in Massachusetts, at the age of 54. From news reports, he was found underneath a dump truck he was working on. Somehow, that seems to be a Bird thing. It's not a way you'd expect to see most spoiled gazillionaire ballplayers go out. I'm even having trouble picturing A-Rod crawling underneath a dump truck.

Here's a Sports Illustrated piece on Fidrych, published in 1986 -- 10 years after his big league debut.

Duke Ellington in your pocket?

While some of my friends are collecting the whole set, I've been a little lukewarm about the states-of-the-union quarters set that's been in circulation for nearly a decade. I've paid attention when a new one came out, but that quarter would find itself in a vending machine or bus fare box eventually.

I did make sure to grab a few of the quarters and hang on to them: California, Arizona, Nevada, South Carolina, and Tennessee were my "keepers," as these were places where I've lived or worked, and places that hold a piece of my heart. The Hawaii quarter was a keeper, too -- I fell in love with the Big Island after spending a week there for a family reunion. Too bad I can't drive there with a U-Haul.

I was surprised to see that Washington, D.C. -- not a state, really -- has its own quarter. I received one in change a couple of days ago, and that went into a different pocket, separate from the bus change. That's because, instead of the Washington monument or something governmental on the back, it had a rendition of Duke Ellington, who hailed from D.C.

The Duke.

As far as I know, this makes Ellington the first jazz artist to be depicted on our money. About time. Jazz has been called the only purely American art form. We had a series of postage stamps with jazz performers in circulation a few years ago, but never on coins or currency.

There are some other viable candidates for such an honor. Louis Armstrong (who has an airport named after him). John Coltrane (who had a church in San Francisco named after him). Jelly Roll Morton (who claimed to have invented jazz in 1902). Dizzy Gillespie. Charles Mingus. Charlie Parker. Miles Davis. Art Tatum. Fats Waller. Even Duke's contemporary Count Basie would have been a good choice. But the Duke -- that man was what jazz is all about.

Duke wasn't the best piano player ever, or even the best of his time. In a one-on-one piano showdown with Basie at high noon, I'd have to give my vote to the Count, with his leaner, stripped-down attack and ability to "feed" chords to his band. And Count had the foresight to deploy Hershel Evans and Lester Young together on tenor sax, letting the contrast speak for itself. Evans was from the Texas tenor school, a brawling tone, all bluster and power, kind of a Coleman Hawkins on steroids. Young, who'd recorded some great stuff with Billie Holiday, was soft-focus, lyrical. He tried to whisper on tenor while everyone else was shouting on theirs.

But Duke was absolutely the best at working a whole band. He'd had falling-outs with his personnel, but it seemed they always came back to work with him. Nobody could arrange music to his players' strengths as Duke could. And few had the kind of influence on jazz that Duke Ellington had.

Even Mingus -- a maverick bassist whom Duke once fired -- went through his Ellington period. On the album "Oh Yeah," Mingus played piano, put Doug Watkins on bass, and put trombonist Jimmie Knepper to work, playing lines that reminded me of Lawrence Brown. If you listen to the song "Invisible Lady" from that album, you can hear how it was influenced by "Satin Doll."

My parents and I are in general agreement about jazz, though our approaches are different. They love to dance to it, while I love to listen to it. And we all consider Duke's "Take The A Train" as one of the best songs ever recorded. But then, nothing wrong with "Satin Doll" or "Black And Tan Fantasy" either.

I was fortunate to come across a recording of Duke's band at the 1956 Newport Festival. Not the strongest rhythm section he'd fielded, but all of his best players were there. Johnny Hodges, who has one of the most recognizable sounds on alto sax. Lawrence Brown, who redefined trombone as a lead instrument. Cat Anderson, who learned trumpet at Charleston's Jenkins Orphanage. And a tenor sax player named Paul Gonsalves.

Duke's show at Newport didn't start off well. The weather was crappy. People were leaving. Duke had trouble finding all his musicians. The band wasn't at its best. Duke was losing relevance. Until he called for one of the oldest songs in his book, "Diminuendo And Crescendo In Blue."

That piece, Duke told the audience, was actually two songs, with a sax interlude tying them together. His band first performed it in 1938.

Not quite four minutes into the piece Gonsalves stepped up to the microphone -- the wrong one, it turned out -- for his solo during the interlude. And blew.

And blew.

And blew.

For six and a half minutes, over 27 choruses, Gonsalves blew. Swung like mad. And the solo built on itself. Since he was on the wrong mic, his solo sounds kind of muted. But you can hear every nuance of what he's doing. You can hear Duke shouting encouragement. Three minutes into the solo you can hear some real audience response. They're clapping, cheering, and getting louder.

It's one of those moments that every human being should experience. It's crunch time, and you're called to perform at something -- a job, dealing with family, facing the outside world. And you're performing at a level that you didn't know you had and you don't remember how you did it. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar described one of those moments during the closing seconds of a playoff game when he was at the baseline, in the corner, those seconds ticking away. Abdul-Jabbar said time just slowed down for him, kind of like you're watching the world in slow motion. A teammate got him the ball, Kareem put up the hook shot, it went right in, and immediately the world went back to real time. I'm sure it was that kind of moment for Duke Ellington and his band.

I've studied Gonsalves' solo (and of course I'm listening to it as I write this), and there was nothing really outlandish about it. It didn't challenge the boundaries of time or harmony as many jazz players have been able to pull off so successfully. You won't confuse it with Coltrane. It wasn't particularly forceful; it wasn't the kind of fiery solo that would blow the bell off that sax. It wasn't radar-gun fast like Charlie Parker. But it was so brilliantly executed, building, building. And it swung throughout. Musicians who don't know how to describe "swing" or even have an idea what it is, should sit in a room and listen to that solo until they get it figured out.

Funny thing, the band sounded a little out of it during much of the concert and in the first few minutes of the Diminuendo/Crescendo. After Gonsalves' solo, it's like they were all breathing fire, and they were suddenly all young men. Live music is like that. One person can put on a stellar performance and energize the rest of the band. But then, you can see that same phenomenon in "real" life, too.

The audience? They almost started a riot. They were so hyped up by what they'd heard that Duke spent the rest of the concert trying to get them to cool it. Finally, he closed out with "Skin Deep," a percussion-driven song with Sam Woodyard taking a long drum solo. Good call; let 'em blow it out of their systems.

Really, this moment of magic extended Duke's career. He was relevant again. From that post-Newport period came two of my favorite Ellington albums -- Far East Suite and Money Jungle. The latter album has Duke in a trio setting with his former bassist Mingus and Max Roach on drums, playing the edgiest stuff I've ever heard from The Duke.

It's good to see The Duke on our latest 25-cent piece, and you might just see me hoarding them as they show up in my change. And I'm still holding out for the Miles Davis $5 bill.

How the old neighborhood has changed ...

I had a bit of a shock the other day when I saw some demographics for my old grade school. First, I was amazed it was still standing -- I thought they had to gut the whole building to get rid of asbestos or some other substance that is objectionable to the People's Republic of California.

According to the new numbers, 73 percent of the student body at Mountain View Elementary School in Riverside, California, is Latino.

A shock? You bet. It's like, whatever happened to the neighborhood?

Oh, yes, there's more, according to a study by the L.A. Times:

Enrollment: 924 students
Free and reduced-price lunch: 75%
English language learners: 38%
Diversity rank: 4/10
Total teachers: 39
Median teacher experience: 12 years
Student-teacher ratio: 24:1

Interesting ...

I completed the sixth grade in 1970, and at the time Mountain View had a really slim Latino population. We had the Aviles brothers and Gary Macias. Although this was a fairly good-sized grade school, that was about all for Latinos. I knew these people. Gary was the class clown in fourth grade. And there was Eddie Filho, of Brazilian parentage. Eddie was my best friend during that time; I understand he's in Colorado now.

In sixth grade, Lawrence Mejia transferred to our school. A fairly big guy then, he was always first pick in our choose-up baseball games. Lawrence could really swing the bat; so powerful he was scary. It's anyone's guess what became of him; word was that he was in some gang activity before our class graduated high school.

We had a number of black students at our grade school, mostly from the Hillside Ave. neighborhood. But most of the students -- I'll guess at least 75 percent -- were white.

I didn't really know many Latinos until high school, and that was because Ramona High School served parts of Casa Blanca, a rough neighborhood that made it on the nightly news quite often. Casa Blanca had a couple of families that were constantly feuding, and every so often someone would end up getting shot up on his lawn.

But even figuring in Riverside's barrios, it's pretty surprising to see how the population figures have shaken out in recent decades.

Signs of a life frittered away: TV quiz

Signs of a life totally frittered away: TV quiz

I've never been a big TV watcher, but I still scored a 19 on this quiz. Not half bad, and none of the questions (except the one I missed) seemed difficult. Must be an age thing.

My brother, a.k.a. Captain Video, put together a perfect score. He writes: "Here is an absolute sign of a wasted life. I got 100%. Thanks, Mom & Dad, for letting me waste my formative years watching the tube!"

Thanks, Rick. Anyway, here's the drill: 

This is NOT a pushover test. There are 20 questions, and the average score is 12. This one will be difficult for the younger set. Have fun, but no peeking! Good luck,   youngsters.

 1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?
 A. Flintstones vitamins 
 B. The Buttmaster  
 C. Spaghetti 
 D. Wonder Bread  
 E. Orange Juice 
 F. Milk 
 G. Cod Liver Oil 
 
2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was...
A. Sugar Ray Robinson 
B. Roy Orbison  
C. Gene Autry 
D. Rudolph Valentino  
E. Fabian 
F. Mickey Mantle  
G. Cassius Clay 

3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, 'We have met the enemy and...  
A. It's you 
B. He is us  
C. It's the Grinch 
D. He wasn't home  
E. He's really mean 
F. We quit  
G. He surrendered 

4. Good night David ... 
A. Good night Chet 
B. Sleep well  
C. Good night Irene 
D. Good night Gracie  
E. See you later alligator 
F. Until tomorrow  
G. Good night Steve 

5. You'll wonder where the yellow went... 
A. When you use Tide  
B. When you lose your crayons 
C. When you clean your tub 
D. If you paint the room blue 
E. If you buy a soft water tank 
F. When you use Lady Clairol 
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent 

6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's friend... 
A. Stuart Whitman 
B. Randolph Scott 
C. Steve Reeves  
D. Maynard G Krebbs 
E. Corky B. Dork 
F. Dave the Whale 
G. Zippy Zoo  

7. Liar, liar...
A. You're a liar 
B. Your nose is growing 
C. Pants on fire 
D. Join the choir 
E. Jump up higher 
F. On the wire 
G. I'm telling Mom
 
8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and...
A. Wheaties  
B. Lois Lane 
C. TV ratings 
D. World peace 
E. Red tights 
F. The American way 
G. News headlines 
 
9. Hey kids!  What time is it?  
A. It's time for Yogi Bear 
B It's time to do your homework  
C. It's Howdy Doody Time 
D. It's Time for Romper Room 
E. It's bedtime 
F. The Mighty Mouse Hour 
G. Scoopy Doo Time 

10. Lions and tigers and bears...  
A. Yikes 
B. Oh no 
C. Gee whiz 
D. I'm scared 
E. Oh my 
F. Help! Help! 
G. Let's run
 
11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone... 
A. Over 40 
B. Wearing a uniform 
C. Carrying a briefcase 
D. Over 30 
E. You don't know 
F. Who says, 'Trust me' 
G. Who eats tofu 

12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women'sstockings... 
A. Troy Aikman 
B. Kenny Stabler 
C. Joe Namath 
D. Roger Staubach  
E. Joe Montana 
F. Steve Young 
G. John Elway 

13. Brylcream... 
A. Smear it on 
B. You'll smell great 
C. Tame that cowlick 
D. Grease ball heaven 
E. It's a dream 
F. We're your team 
G. A little dab'll do ya 

14. I found my thrill... 
A. In Blueberry muffins 
B. With my man, Bill 
C. Down at the mill 
D. Over the windowsill 
E. With thyme and dill 
F. Too late to enjoy 
G. On Blueberry Hill 
 
15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by... 
A. Clark Gable  
B. Mary Martin 
C. Doris Day 
D. Errol Flynn 
E. Sally Fields 
F. Jim Carey 
G. Jay Leno 

16. Name the Beatles...
A. John, Steve, George, Ringo  
B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe  
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo  
D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo 
E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo  
F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel  
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo  

17. I wonder, wonder, who.
A. Who ate the leftovers? 
B. Who did the laundry? 
C. Was it you? 
D. Who wrote the book of love? 
E. Who I am? 
F. Passed the test? 
G. Knocked on the door?
 
18. I'm strong to the finish... 
A. Cause I eats my broccoli
B. Cause I eats me spinach 
C. Cause I lift weights 
D. Cause I'm the hero 
E. And don't you forget it 
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me 
G. To outlast Bruto 

19. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today
A. Smile, you're on Candid Camera 
B. Smile, you're on Star Search 
C. Smile, you won the lottery 
D. Smile, we're watching you 
E. Smile, the world sees you
F. Smile, you're a hit 
G. Smile, you're on TV 

20. What do M & M's do?  
A. Make your tummy happy 
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket 
C. Make you fat 
D. Melt your heart 
E. Make you popular 
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand
G. Come in colors

Bonus Question: who is Mary Martin's famous son?
 
Below are the right answers:  
1. D - Wonder Bread  
2. G - Cassius Clay 
3. B - He Is Us 
4. A - Good night, Chet  
5. G - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent 
6. D - Maynard G. Krebbs 
7. C - Pants On Fire 
8. F - The American Way  
9. C - It's Howdy Doody Time 
10. E - Oh My 
11. D - Over 30 
12. C - Joe Namath 
13. G - A little dab'll do ya 
14. G - On Blueberry Hill 
15. B - Mary Martin 
16. G - John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. D - Who wrote the book of Love
18. B - Cause I eats me spinach
19. A - Smile, you're on Candid Camera 
20. F - Melt In Your Mouth Not In Your Hand

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What say you? OK, so how did you do? Did you beat my score? Did you surpass my brother's score, and how did you do that without cheating? Did you solicit the help of some old person? Let me know via the "comments" section.