The Column

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Signs of a life frittered away: TV quiz

Signs of a life totally frittered away: TV quiz

I've never been a big TV watcher, but I still scored a 19 on this quiz. Not half bad, and none of the questions (except the one I missed) seemed difficult. Must be an age thing.

My brother, a.k.a. Captain Video, put together a perfect score. He writes: "Here is an absolute sign of a wasted life. I got 100%. Thanks, Mom & Dad, for letting me waste my formative years watching the tube!"

Thanks, Rick. Anyway, here's the drill: 

This is NOT a pushover test. There are 20 questions, and the average score is 12. This one will be difficult for the younger set. Have fun, but no peeking! Good luck,   youngsters.

 1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?
 A. Flintstones vitamins 
 B. The Buttmaster  
 C. Spaghetti 
 D. Wonder Bread  
 E. Orange Juice 
 F. Milk 
 G. Cod Liver Oil 
 
2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was...
A. Sugar Ray Robinson 
B. Roy Orbison  
C. Gene Autry 
D. Rudolph Valentino  
E. Fabian 
F. Mickey Mantle  
G. Cassius Clay 

3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, 'We have met the enemy and...  
A. It's you 
B. He is us  
C. It's the Grinch 
D. He wasn't home  
E. He's really mean 
F. We quit  
G. He surrendered 

4. Good night David ... 
A. Good night Chet 
B. Sleep well  
C. Good night Irene 
D. Good night Gracie  
E. See you later alligator 
F. Until tomorrow  
G. Good night Steve 

5. You'll wonder where the yellow went... 
A. When you use Tide  
B. When you lose your crayons 
C. When you clean your tub 
D. If you paint the room blue 
E. If you buy a soft water tank 
F. When you use Lady Clairol 
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent 

6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's friend... 
A. Stuart Whitman 
B. Randolph Scott 
C. Steve Reeves  
D. Maynard G Krebbs 
E. Corky B. Dork 
F. Dave the Whale 
G. Zippy Zoo  

7. Liar, liar...
A. You're a liar 
B. Your nose is growing 
C. Pants on fire 
D. Join the choir 
E. Jump up higher 
F. On the wire 
G. I'm telling Mom
 
8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and...
A. Wheaties  
B. Lois Lane 
C. TV ratings 
D. World peace 
E. Red tights 
F. The American way 
G. News headlines 
 
9. Hey kids!  What time is it?  
A. It's time for Yogi Bear 
B It's time to do your homework  
C. It's Howdy Doody Time 
D. It's Time for Romper Room 
E. It's bedtime 
F. The Mighty Mouse Hour 
G. Scoopy Doo Time 

10. Lions and tigers and bears...  
A. Yikes 
B. Oh no 
C. Gee whiz 
D. I'm scared 
E. Oh my 
F. Help! Help! 
G. Let's run
 
11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone... 
A. Over 40 
B. Wearing a uniform 
C. Carrying a briefcase 
D. Over 30 
E. You don't know 
F. Who says, 'Trust me' 
G. Who eats tofu 

12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women'sstockings... 
A. Troy Aikman 
B. Kenny Stabler 
C. Joe Namath 
D. Roger Staubach  
E. Joe Montana 
F. Steve Young 
G. John Elway 

13. Brylcream... 
A. Smear it on 
B. You'll smell great 
C. Tame that cowlick 
D. Grease ball heaven 
E. It's a dream 
F. We're your team 
G. A little dab'll do ya 

14. I found my thrill... 
A. In Blueberry muffins 
B. With my man, Bill 
C. Down at the mill 
D. Over the windowsill 
E. With thyme and dill 
F. Too late to enjoy 
G. On Blueberry Hill 
 
15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by... 
A. Clark Gable  
B. Mary Martin 
C. Doris Day 
D. Errol Flynn 
E. Sally Fields 
F. Jim Carey 
G. Jay Leno 

16. Name the Beatles...
A. John, Steve, George, Ringo  
B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe  
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo  
D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo 
E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo  
F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel  
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo  

17. I wonder, wonder, who.
A. Who ate the leftovers? 
B. Who did the laundry? 
C. Was it you? 
D. Who wrote the book of love? 
E. Who I am? 
F. Passed the test? 
G. Knocked on the door?
 
18. I'm strong to the finish... 
A. Cause I eats my broccoli
B. Cause I eats me spinach 
C. Cause I lift weights 
D. Cause I'm the hero 
E. And don't you forget it 
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me 
G. To outlast Bruto 

19. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today
A. Smile, you're on Candid Camera 
B. Smile, you're on Star Search 
C. Smile, you won the lottery 
D. Smile, we're watching you 
E. Smile, the world sees you
F. Smile, you're a hit 
G. Smile, you're on TV 

20. What do M & M's do?  
A. Make your tummy happy 
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket 
C. Make you fat 
D. Melt your heart 
E. Make you popular 
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand
G. Come in colors

Bonus Question: who is Mary Martin's famous son?
 
Below are the right answers:  
1. D - Wonder Bread  
2. G - Cassius Clay 
3. B - He Is Us 
4. A - Good night, Chet  
5. G - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent 
6. D - Maynard G. Krebbs 
7. C - Pants On Fire 
8. F - The American Way  
9. C - It's Howdy Doody Time 
10. E - Oh My 
11. D - Over 30 
12. C - Joe Namath 
13. G - A little dab'll do ya 
14. G - On Blueberry Hill 
15. B - Mary Martin 
16. G - John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. D - Who wrote the book of Love
18. B - Cause I eats me spinach
19. A - Smile, you're on Candid Camera 
20. F - Melt In Your Mouth Not In Your Hand

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What say you? OK, so how did you do? Did you beat my score? Did you surpass my brother's score, and how did you do that without cheating? Did you solicit the help of some old person? Let me know via the "comments" section.



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