The Column

Sunday, August 10, 2008

School ... then and now

My brother sent this email to me today, and (maybe 'cause I'm old enough to remember those days) this sure strikes a chord with me.

Check it. Would make good reading as you pack your young'uns off to school for another year:

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Scenario:


Jack
goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with
shotgun in gun rack.


1957 -
Vice
Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets
his shotgun to show Jack.


2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to

jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for

traumatized students and teachers.



Scenario:


Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.


1957 -
Crowd
gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.


2007 - Police
called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with
assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.





Scenario:


Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.


1957 - Jeffrey
sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to
class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.


2007 - Jeffrey
given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School
gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.





Scenario:


Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a
whipping with his belt.


1957 -
Billy
is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and
becomes a successful businessman.


2007 - Billy's
dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and
joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she
remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's
mom has affair with psychologist.





Scenario:


Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.


1957 -
Mark
shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.


2007 - Police called,
Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs
and weapons.



Scenario:


Pedro fails high school English.


1957 -
Pedro
goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.


2007 - Pedro's
cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally
explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is
racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and
Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro
given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he
cannot speak English.



Scenario:


Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in
a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.


1957 -
Ants
die.


2007- BATF,
Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism,
FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers
confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never
allowed to fly again.



Scenario:


Johnny
falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found
crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.


1957 -
In a
short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.


2007 - Mary is accused
of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in
State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.


======

If this fills you with a fine sense of outrage, congratulations. You're old enough to remember. If this doesn't, therapy won't help.


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