In first-ever race, running like a fish out of water

Ok. I don't run. My ankles are bad. Gravity is bad. Running is worse.

So there I was at the starting line of the Floppin' Flounder 5k run. What was I thinking?

Here's the story, as reported in Hubpages:

###

Air show: Not the same old base

I love air shows, and I was seriously considering going to the one at the Charleston Air Force Base Saturday.

Thought about it, but I believe I'll pass.

You know it's not the same old air force base, not with post-9/11 Homeland Security being a fact of life. You can't just go onto the base without a search.

I got this from the Air Expo website, and this gives me an idea of what to expect:

Prohibited items include:

• Coolers
• Backpacks
• Gym Bags
• Glass Bottles
• Alcohol
• Knives
• Fire Arms
• Car alarms must be disabled for the duration of the air show

Again, not the same old base.

Back in my pre-9/11 taxi driving days, I used to cut through the base as a shortcut. Make up a name at the gate, and no one was the wiser. "I'm here to pick up Airman Mingus and Lt. Coltrane," I used to say, and no one minded.

Now, without military ID you can't even go on that base.

OK. Fact of life.

Executive decision: I'm going to watch it from the convenience of my front yard. This is the one time I consider myself lucky to live underneath a landing approach pattern.

###

Blogging: Everyone's doin' it doin' it

This blogging is a very cool thing, and it's too bad I've been so slack at it.

What's so great about blogging is that you can make anything you want of it.

Many folks use blogging tools to keep a personal journal, to tell all the things they've been doing all day. Others use it to unload some screed about a particular subject matter -- in my case I'll use this space to slap around some politician or give my take on the news. If you're interested in anything at all, that's a reason to blog.

I'm an ardent journal keeper. Have been for years. If I'm wrestling with a personal decision or just plain bothered about something, I'll write about it. But I'm old school; my first preference for a journal is an actual bound book, written in ink. It worked for all the great writers, so who am I to buck that trend?

My pen-and-ink journal is a thing of beauty. Some of it is neatly done, with all words carefully measured. Other times the entries are scrawled, with an odd disconnectedness about what is written. Sometimes there's a lot of free association involved with journaling, and it's like, well, like I just hurled all over the page (why do you think they call it catharsis?). I'm also a list-keeper, an outliner and a mind-mapper, so my bound journal has all of these things.

But there's a lot to be said for blogging. Unlike a private journal, this stuff is public. Maybe I need to air an idea for feedback. Maybe I need to start discussion. Or maybe I just feel like being controversial. That's OK, too.

Right now I have several blogs, and all have a specific purpose. My regular blog (The Column Reloaded) is sort of a catch-all, with a bit of everything. I also have The Jam Session Reloaded, which has my musical musings, and a tech blog called The Workbench Reloaded. In truth I haven't done much with these lately; I wrote the last Workbench entry Feb. 1, and have been slack about writing for the others.

In addition I have another political blog through The Examiner, another I haven't done anything with. I'm undecided whether I want to continue with it. I also have my HubPages site, which is where I keep some of my better writing. Of the lot, I probably have the most fun with HubPages.

If you want to consider blogging forms, you'd have to add Twitter. I tweet a few times a day, and I find it rather addictive. I can tweet directly from my cell phone, and I can post fast thoughts from anywhere. Twitter's interesting; there is a horrendous signal-to-noise ratio and you need some industrial-strength third-party tools to sift through the chaotic mess that is Twitter.

And yeah, there's a lot of mundane in Twitter. Like the one from a friend:

"Breakfast blend too tame to crank engine; need me some emeril big easy xtra bold or jet fuel."

OK, being a coffee junkie myself (just a pinch between your cheek and gum) I can relate to this, but many people can't. But I contribute my share of the mundane to Twitter:

"Thought about calling in dead @ work, but it's payday. Dead men cash no checks."

Which may be important to me, but in the final analysis, who really gives a rip? I tell you what, the Internet is the world's biggest garbage dump.

---

I mention all this because my older brother, Rick, got bitten by the blog bug. He'll be a natural at this -- like everyone else in my family he has a wide range of interests and opinions aplenty about all these interests.

He just published his first post; his 19-year-old son Michael had a horrific car wreck and stepped out of his crushed Crown Vic.

Off Rick's description of the accident it's amazing Michael came out with little more than a few scratches. I'd seen my share of car wrecks, and I can tell you that hitting a utility pole at even 40 mph (and Michael was probably driving twice that speed) is the kind of collision that usually leaves no survivors. Rick is pretty unabashed here; he credits Michael's survival to divine intervention and seat belts. Knowing a little something about the power of both, he'll get no argument from me. It's now a question of whether Michael "gets it" after such a close call, but time will tell.

Rick promises his blog won't be that dramatic most of the time (which is a good thing because no father needs that much drama in his life) but he'll have -- like this blog here -- a little bit of everything. In other words, the stuff of a good blog.

Take a look, if you haven't already. And if you like it, subscribe. Feel free to comment.Link to it. He won't mind.

Welcome to blogland, Rick. We were expecting you.

###

Website breaks down the In-N-Out secret

This is one of the things I miss from out west -- In-N-Out burgers.

I got this from Lifehacker:

Make Your Own In-N-Out Double-Double Burger at Home [Recipes]: "

You already know how to make your own Shake Shack burgers, but if In-N-Out is more your style, food blog Serious Eats has once again reverse engineered this well-known burger so you can make it at home. More »

I fell in love with In-N-Out burgers in California, but only after laughing my (_|_) off at the name first. Two double burgers and a chocolate shake -- now, that was the perfect meal when I was on a heavy deadline.

Sonic makes some really good burgers; I discovered them in Kingman, Arizona. There's a Sonic a couple of miles from my house, but they can't touch In-N-out.

How good are these In-N-Out burgers?

I'll tell you. When I lived in Arizona, the closest In-N-Out place was in Las Vegas, 100 miles away. And I made the trip a time or two, just for burgers.

I repeat that: Just for burgers. Not even playing a slot machine, or to hear a band, or visit, or anything like that. I just wanted burgers.

People still don't believe me when I tell them that. (I wonder which part won't they believe?)

###

No 5-Second Rule in my kitchen

I saw this in The Consumerist, and it kind of rang a bell.

I'm a little funny about my food. While I'll eat just about anything, my food has to pass some strict decontamination tests. Hairs or unidentifiable black specks make it instantly inedible in my book, and I'm usually going to pitch it. I can't even be bothered with trying to pick the substance off; it's going out. I'd thoroughly inspect my food before eating it (as a kid I often heard Dad's "don't analyze it, eat it"), and I've considered washing the food like a raccoon or something.

Hey, you never know what those black specks are.

Fly ash from somewhere? Roach turds? Something ... ugh ... living?

I don't know, and I'm not about to give it the taste test.

But some of my friends adhere to the five-second rule. It's like catching food on the first bounce; allegedly it's still good to eat. They'll drop something, call out "five-second rule," and pick it up. This five-second rule is somewhat elastic, kind of like the "long count" in the Tunney-Dempsey fight back in 1927. Do you start the count immediately after impact, after the food finally stops moving, or after everyone else retreats into a neutral corner?

So I felt a little ... what, vindicated? ... when I read this article.

Do You Follow The 5-Second Rule?:

We've all dropped that freshly buttered piece of golden brown toast on the floor, yes? And many of us have contemplated whether or not to just pick it up and eat it. That's why there's the 5-Second Rule, the completely unscientific belief that food left on the floor for less than five seconds is sufficiently ick-free. But scientists at Clemson are trying to call BS on one of western society's core beliefs.

Says Paul Dawson, a food scientist at the food science and human nutrition department at Clemson University, where he and his team of students tested the Rule:

In the case of the five-second-rule we found that bacteria was transferred from tabletops and floors to the food within five seconds, that is the five second rule is not an accurate guide when it comes to eating food that has fallen on the floor.

But can science change your mind on this?

That's why we're conducting this incredibly unscientific poll:

Do You Follow the 5-Second Rule?online survey

Sadly, the 'five-second rule' is not really safe [Houston Chronicle]

Ych!

###

Getting interviewed by the Census Bureau

The Census Bureau is still at it, and I don't think they believed me the first time.

Got a visit from some guy wielding a clipboard a few minutes ago. He's with the Census Department's quality control division, doing a little spot-checking.

"I sent mine in," I reminded him. "The Bureau sent me two forms so I almost sent in two."

Turns out "something happened" to the form I sent in, he told me. Yeah, I know exactly what happened to it. I sent it in with just the information that was needed under the Constitution, i.e. address and number of people living in my place. The rest was left blank. Understand, the Census is a head count; nothing more.

As a result, I earned an interview with the Census folks. This guy is probably a little younger than me, black guy with splashes of gray in his dreadlocks. Nice enough, but a bit nervous.

He asked me my address. Is this the correct one? I said yes.

He asked my name. I gave it to him, and told him it was just hearsay.

He asked my age. With a totally straight face and no shame whatsoever, I said I was 29. When he started to write that in, I told him the truth -- 52.

"Male or female? ... well, obviously," he said as he wrote this down.

"Race?" he wanted to know.

Now, that's a sticking point with me. That is really no one's business. If you fill out a job application, they can't ask for your race. Even including a picture of yourself in your job resume is a no-no because of the race angle. And, whether anyone will admit it or not, race does determine how much government money goes where.

But considering the U.S. Census is an official government function and it's not smart to tweak the noses of the Feds, I gave him my answer.

"Martian."

Hopefully, this will end my involvement with Census 2010.

###

Drugs do the darnedest things

I already knew I live in a strange neighborhood; I just didn't realize how strange.

I'm in my home office this afternoon when I hear noises outside the trailer. I didn't think much of it as long as nobody's trying to get in, so I continue work.

More noises. Louder. From my kitchen. So I go and check it out.

Since it's been so hot lately I've been keeping my kitchen window open above my sink. And someone's reaching through the window.

It's a young woman, and she's stoned out of her gourd. And she's washing the dishes in my sink, from outside.

It turned out she also watered my plants outside, neatened up my porch, things like that. I really don't think she meant anything wrong; it's just one of those who-knows-what, drug-induced things. 

No harm, no foul, but ... strange.

I confronted her, more questioning than angry. Must have scared her off; she tottered away. I probably should have waited until she finished the dishes. Good help is hard to find these days.

###

Technology takes a holiday: A trip up the mountain

As published in HubPages:

... I checked my own cell phone. It's a plain-vanilla model with no camera and no mp3 player, but I can still control much of my online life through text messages. Like the others, I'm showing no signal-strength bars. And for the first time since I've had that phone, the "no service" message was on the screen ... the hike up the mountain is rigorous enough that you need to pack light, so forget about bringing the laptop. Besides, that won't matter; there's no wireless connection available and no electricity in the cabins. You're roughing it. Tech takes a holiday on this trip ...

Now that we've sufficiently whetted your appetite, go on over and read the rest, OK?

Or just check out my entire HubPages site. That's where I hide my best writing.

For all you fathers, including mine ...

Horace Silver's "Song For My Father."

It's your day, Dad. Enjoy it.

###

Sort of a bear encounter: Hiking trip

As published in HubPages:

That's when the manager of the lodge announced that there was some recent bear activity on the property, and we should move all our baggage from our porches. Some folks moved right away to take care of their gear, but none of my group bothered. Recent bear activity usually means it could happen. So could being struck by lightning or winning the state lottery ... what the manager didn't say was that there was some bear activity going on right this very moment. Now, that's a whole 'nother thing ... we finished dinner and went back to our cabin, and all of our stuff was moved inside. And this ranger was still running around, with a dart gun in his hand ...

So? Don't just sit there. Read the story!

###

'Cause I deserve it -- next question?

I'll be taking off on a camping trip tomorrow morning, and I sure don't plan to work.

Part of this includes a hike up Mount Le Conte (up in the Great Smokies, Tennessee) with some friends, and a whole bunch of fun.

I also don't plan to do any work during this time. Don't ask.

Unless a bear eats me, I should be back Wednesday night.

Then I'll think about work.

###

Multitasking while driving? Survey shows how many people do what

Distracted driving? How distracted?

I found this in Consumerist.com, which links to an article in Wired. The upshot is, folks will do just about everything under the sun when they should be driving and paying attention. 

Survey: 15% Of Drivers Getting Their Swerve On While Driving: "

From cell phones to stereos to billboards to those pesky other vehicles on the road, driving a car comes with a whole host of distractions. A new survey attempts to quantify just how many people are being distracted by the various and sundry things vying for drivers' attention.

The online survey, conducted by cell phone headset makers Jabra, came up with some interesting -- if not terribly scientific -- results.

Among the more lurid: 15% of respondents admitted to having "performed sex or other sexual acts” while driving, though what exactly "other sexual acts" means is left to the filthy part of your imagination. And, as the folks at Wired.com pointed out, the survey required no proof of respondents' carnal car exploits.

Meanwhile, 35% of those surveyed said they had changed articles of clothing while in the driver's seat. One would have to guess that at least some of these people belong to the 15% mentioned above.

On the high end, 72% of respondents admitted to eating or drinking a beverage while behind the wheel.

Though just about everyone has used their cell phone in the car, only 1/3 of those in the survey use a headset of some sort. Also, despite being illegal in more than half the U.S., 28% say they have texted while driving; 12% confessed to reading and sending e-mails.

More frightening, at least to me, are the 5% who admitted to having played video games during a driving session. I just hope they weren't playing MarioKart.

Says a dude from Jabra's parent company:

It is truly unbelievable what people are doing while driving... The results of our survey show that so many people are distracted and doing other things while on the road — even though they know the consequences that can occur. We hope that people will soon understand the implications of these bad behaviors and will change their own behavior accordingly.

Of course, part of 'changing their behavior' would mean 'buying more Jabra headsets.'

Which of these risky behaviors do you exhibit? Do you do something dangerous that didn't make the list?

Surprising Number of People Get It On While Driving [Wired.com]

OK, boys and girls. Heavy confession time, and you can call this my own at-the-wheel bucket list. I have:

- Eaten while driving

- Trimmed my beard while driving.

- Consumed coffee at the wheel. Of course. I consume coffee any time, while doing anything, for any reason.

- Played harmonica while driving. Sometimes I've done this on my way to a gig, having a warmup set on some state highway.

- Talked on the phone while driving, both with and without a headset.

- Sent text messages while at the wheel. Once. It terrified me, so I gave up the practice immediately.

- Read newspapers, or more likely maps, while driving.

- Played CDs while driving, including changing out a disk. And, while riding a bicycle, cycled through song lists on an mp3 player.

- Fought drunk passengers while driving; one of the things I don't miss about my taxi driving days.

- Written while driving. With the clipboard on the console, steering with one hand, and without looking at what I was writing. I used to do that quite often in my newspaper days. Amazingly, I was able to read what I wrote.

- Made obscene gestures at a Presidential candidate while driving. Seriously. It was Walter Mondale in 1984. He was in a motorcade en route from San Bernardino to L.A., and his escorting officers had all freeway drivers pull to the right and stop. I did, I was ticked, and I gave the famous gesture when his limo blazed by at 90 mph. Since I was stopped, I had both hands free and I was able to use both for the double bird. I'm still amazed I wasn't arrested.

- Driven barefoot. It really is not illegal. I usually do this on long hauls; the better to feel the pedals. You actually get better gas mileage this way.

- Changed clothes while driving. Unfortunately, I always ended up looking like I dressed in the dark.

Did I ever, as the article suggests, "get my swerve on" at the wheel? None of your business. I ain't sayin' nothing. I'll take the Fifth.

###

Making a living in ObamaNation

Like it or not, Obamacare is the law of the land. The chances of having it declared unconstitutional are only enough to hang a prayer on, and the chances of it being repealed are nonexistent.

OK. I wasn't planning to debate that piece of legislation again; y'all should know by now what I think of it. But Obamacare ushers in a whole different world, and it's especially noticeable if you like to eat, and if you work to keep beans on the table.

Not long ago I was drawing unemployment, and looking for work. I was thinking, anything that moved was subject to my attention, and if it didn't move I'd kick it a few times and make it move. But the job market is, well, pretty slim.

Enter Obamacare. Now, people who hire others are taking a long hard look at whether they can afford to do that. It's bad enough with a tanked economy, but now that the federal government is requiring health care besides? That just kicked any possibility of recovery right between the eyes.

It's a real bad time to look for work.

A few weeks ago I said that one is foolish to depend on one source of income, what with the uncertain economy. Let's amend that. Now, anyone who works for another person in a typical employer-employee relationship faces a bigger disadvantage than ever before.

Welcome to the new world. The independent contactor is king. Instead of punching a clock, getting paid by the hour and banking on those cool benefits, the jobs scenario has people getting paid by the job and seeing to his own benefits.

I'm no stranger to this. For years I worked as a taxi driver and as a freelance journalist. Although the taxi company often played it fast and loose with independent contractor law, it was a pretty good way to work. Call my own hours. If I'm not making money it's my own issue. If I have a problem with the boss, then it's time for some serious therapy.

Now, I'm doing it again. I pretty much gave up on finding actual work for someone else, but am throwing my resources into working for myself. A bit of a high-wire act, admittedly, but it's starting to pay off. I have a couple of income sources for writing Web content, and am making moves toward hire-out writing and editing.

It's a tough go. My biggest hurdle is personal. While it's true that a person with ADHD always has several things in the pot (I'm making no admissions here), focus is my biggest issue. I'm working on that, and making small gains. Except for that, there is really nothing standing in the way.

Meanwhile, I'm making a little hay:

• Got my high-speed Internet up. This in itself is huge. I don't have to run out with laptop and capture a wireless signal; I can work from home.

• Getting my routine together. A few hours in the morning writing and editing today's copy, a bicycle ride in the afternoon (I wrote this column while riding back home from the bank), digging up a little more work, and things like that.

• Working, as I mentioned, on focus. I checked out the "Pomodoro technique," which is nothing but a fancy name for setting a kitchen timer while you work and taking regular breaks. I do my best work in short bursts, living in a bubble of kick-butt for a half-hour at a time.

Meanwhile, I have a to-do list for the next few weeks:

• Continue getting my groove on, fine-tune the routine.

• Get a wireless router. Currently my desktop computer is hooked up to my high-speed Internet, and I do most of my writing on my netbook, outdoors. I move files back and forth with a thumb drive, an inelegant solution. I've priced routers, and I should have one within two or three weeks.

• Start looking at upgrading equipment. My desktop computer is the bottleneck in the system. It's probably 10 years old, and it hesitates a lot when I'm doing high-speed online stuff. I've gutted the operating system and am running one that's little more than a browser and text editor, but it's still the thing that slows me down.

• Dedicate part of my work day to what lawyers call "rainmaking," hitting the wires hot and heavy to drum up some more work.

It's coming together. It's a whole new workaday world out there, and I'm ready for it.

###

Bucket List can get revealing: What have you done?

I got this by email from my brother Rick, and this is making the rounds among the family unit. It's revealing. Give it a shot, and have some fun!

Here are the rules of this Bucket List:

Hit forward and place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not, and send it to your friends (including me), or post it to your blog.

This is for your Entire Life!

OK. Have you ever ...

(X) Shot a gun

(X) Gone on a blind date

(X) Skipped school

() Watched someone die

() Been to Canada

() Been to Alaska

() Been to Cuba

() Been to Europe

(X) Been to Las Vegas

(X) Been to Mexico

() Been to Florida

(X) Been on a plane

() Been on a Cruise Ship

() Served on a Jury

(X) Been lost

(X) Been on the opposite side of the country

(X) Gone to Washington, DC

(X) Swam in the Ocean

(Do I get bonus points for more than one ocean?)

(X) Cried yourself to sleep

(x) Played Cops and Robbers

(X) Played Cowboys and Indians

() Recently colored with crayons

(X) Sang Karaoke

(X) Paid for a meal with coins, only coins

(X) Made a prank phone call as a kid

(X) Laughed until some beverage came out of your nose

(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

(X) Danced in the rain

(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus

(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe

(X) Watched the sunrise with someone

(X) Blown bubbles

(X) Gone ice skating

(X) Gone skiing

(X) Camped out under the stars

(X) Seen something so beautiful that it took your breath away

(X) Are or have been married

() Have children

(Wrong plumbing. If I have, call the Weekly World News!)

(X) Have a pet

(X) Been skinny dipping outdoors

(X) Been fishing

(X) Been boating

(X) Been water skiing

(X) Been hiking

(X) Been camping in a trailer/RV

(X) Flown in a small 4-seater airplane

() Flown in a glider

() Been flying in a helicopter

() Been flying in a hot air balloon -

() Been bungee jumping -

(X) Gone to a drive-in movie

(X) Done something that should have killed you

(X) Done something that you will regret for the rest of your life

() Been to Africa

() Been to China

() Been to India

() Been to Korea

() Ever ride an elephant

() Ever ride a camel

(X) Ever eaten just cookies for dinner

(X) Ever been on T.V.

(X) Ever steal any traffic signs

(X) Ever been in a car accident

(X) Have a nickname? Wingnut, among others

There's more:

Favorite Drink: Sweet tea

How much do you love your job? Enough to keep doing it.

Is your car a 2 door or a 4 door? No doors

Favorite number? Google(.com!)

Favorite movie? Most recently seen again? Round Midnight

Favorite holiday? National Procrastination Week

Favorite dessert? Anything involving the use of chocolate.

Furthest place you will send this message? Worldwide, via blog

Who will respond to this the fastest: Whoever sees it first and has a civil service job.

SCORING: No rules here. Let your conscience be your guide. Too few checked off probably means you need to turn the computer off and get out more.

(Personal note: A few friends and I regularly get together, and one of the group pastimes is a game called Three Truths And A Lie. That's where you come up with four statements about yourself and have the rest of the group pick out the BS. Scoring is, well, it's like pants on a toll booth collector in that no one knows or really cares. The trick to winning Three Truths And A Lie is in the degree of separation between true and false statements; either all outlandish or none outlandish.)

Unemployment and Bunning's TS card: More than the money

Talk that the federal government may not afford paying out more unemployment benefits may leave me in a financial pickle, but more importantly it leaves me with one of those thorny moral dilemmas.

Sen. Jim Bunning (R, KY) is staging a one-man blockade to shut down any expansion of unemployment benefits. Later, Sen. John Kyl (R-AZ) joined him on this, saying the federal government needs to figure out a way to pay for additional benefits first.

"Congress just passed the so-called pay-go legislation which is supposed to require that we find offsets or other savings if we are going to spend money," Kyl said. "So what's the first thing we do? We exempt this bill from it."

Bunning, the baseball Hall Of Famer, laid what older military veterans may call a "T.S. card" on a $10 billion Senate plan to extend unemployment benefits. (Those who didn't hear Bunning's actual comments will probably still get the drift without a lot of explanation.)

While the Senate bill stalls, there's the spectre that benefits may terminate this month for more than 1.1 million former workers. At least, that's what the Democrats are saying, and most of those cats in the halls of Congress are real good at dealing out the exaggerated numbers and scare tactics.

Meanwhile, I will find out fairly quickly what happens next. I get inside information on this kind of news in my mailbox every week. See, with the exception of whatever writing income I scratch out, I've been living on unemployment. And hating it.

While some folks can carve a whole lifestyle out of waiting for that gummint check, I'm not one of those. It goes against everything I believe, everything that's important to me. Plus, it doesn't mesh with my personal style. I'm an action type, and not having a regular job leaves me all jacked up and no place to go. In short, it turns me into Beelzebub.

To be honest, I'm not sure where this unemployment compensation comes from. Well, I kind of do. It's funny money, surgically removed from working people and business owners or, failing that, printed up as needed by the federal government.

OK, here's the moral dilemma. Those who know me through this space have probably figured by now that I'm not big on government assistance. Shoot, I'm not big on government anything. I'd rather have a battery acid enema than deal with all these civil service types. A friend suggested I might consider trying for food stamps. I politely told her no, and the politeness was only because she's such a dear friend. But I'm not hurting. I can do great things with beans, rice, and hamburger. Even with my most expensive grocery item (premium coffee) my food bill is practically zip.

But you see what's going on. I'm writing about these conservative/libertarian principles, and I try to live in a manner that's at least somewhat consistent with what I write. My views have not changed, and don't expect me to start pounding a share-the-wealth message any time soon. I don't roll that way.

See the dilemma here? While some may suggest I just get what I can, shut up, and hang my convictions, I'm just not that type of person.

Strategy time, from my personal notes: I'm still looking for work, but have widened my options. Part time would be wonderful; in fact that's the best scenario I can think of. It was less than two months ago that I started freelance writing in earnest, so I'm just scratching the surface there. Right now, as long as it's legal I don't really care what the part time job is; it's not like I'm going to be married to it or anything. I have three (or four, depending on how you count them) paid writing gigs going on right now, and already at this early stage they amount to half a paycheck. A part-time gig, paying about what I'm making now in unemployment, would be gravy.

Entrepreneurs and high-level economists are smart enough to know that you don't put all your eggs in one basket. But with this economy being what it is, that truth has filtered down to the average folks, those who punch a clock every day. The economy is so uncertain that if you're depending on just one income source for your daily bread, you're inviting trouble.

While some do quite nicely for themselves while waiting for that gummint cheese, I don't see how they do it.

###

Sarah Palin: Talk to the hand

I was amused to hear the latest political scandal, the one about Sarah Palin giving a speech using crib notes written on her hand.

It's a blast from the past. Many of us can recall writing cheat notes on our hands and wrists back in our school days. I know I did, and it was worth an extra five or 10 points on many tests. I never really gave up the habit after my school days were over, either. I'm quite a notetaker, and I swear by the wonderful low-tech "Hipster PDA" (little more than a bundle of index cards) for my very survival. If I don't have that or a note pad handy, I'm not above using my hand.

Barack Obama takes a lot of ribbing about his love affair with the TelePrompter (I'm still checking on rumors that he has one in the Lincoln Bedroom with a selection of sweet nothings for Michelle loaded in), but that's little more than a high-priced version of the palm-of-the-hand note.

Now, I like Palin. I know she doesn't have a chance of being elected; she's probably the most polarizing figure since Hillary Clinton. I can't think of anyone who is neutral about her. And she takes a lot of crap from the media. Shoot, there are a lot more conservative folks out there, and many politicians tote a lot more baggage than her any old day. There are many more viable targets than her. But she's a threat to the mainstream partly because of the attention she normally gets, but also -- don't discount this -- she seems to be a genuinely happy person. But this bit about using crib notes -- will someone please tell me the significance of that?

Understand, if you're in politics you're going to give a lot of speeches. And if you're a big-name person like an Obama or Palin, chances are you didn't write the speech yourself. High-level politicians hire speechwriters, and sometimes it's a crapshoot because every word loaded into the TelePrompter is a surprise.

Unless you're giving the same basic speech over and over again, it's pointless to try to memorize all this stuff. And forget about speaking off the cuff; the political graveyard is littered with the bodies of those who said the wrong thing just because it sounded good at the time.

I've given talks over the years, mostly back in California. I was a member of Toastmasters then (and am looking to get back on board there), so I'm no stranger to the other side of the lectern. I spoke from fairly skeletal notes, usually no more than an outline and a few key words. Still, I was working from an advantage over your favorite politician because I wrote my own stuff.

One time at Toastmasters I gave a talk, and my notes were written on half-sized index cards, something I could conceal in my hand. I liked that idea because I could then step out from behind the lectern, move around, and still have my notes -- my crutch -- with me.

It worked well enough, or at least I thought so.

My speech evaluator thought differently, but he was the type of guy who, if he noticed you nervously jingling loose change in your pockets, he'd place a bet on how much money you had there. He was just a totally evil person. Anyway, he pointed out that I had my fist clenched through the speech, and he was worried I'd go over and beat someone up.

Man, I know I should have written those notes on my hand.

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(Above: Sarah Palin gets caught with her notes during Tea Party Convention in Nashville. Below: Palin's answer, after the ordure hit the rotary cooling device. Hi, Mom!)

Who Dat: Saints win wasn't just on the field

I'm not a big football fan, and I really don't have a team to pull for.

In baseball I have the Los Angeles Angels (a love affair that started in the mid-1960s) and Arizona Diamondbacks. In basketball I have the Lakers (dating back from their Jerry West/Elgin Baylor days) and Phoenix Suns.

The Rams were my hometown team growing up, but that's when Carroll Rosenbloom owned them and they called L.A. home. In Arizona we had the Cardinals, but it was pretty hard to feel good about a team that just pulled in from St. Louis and brought a bunch of lousy players with them. In my Arizona years, the director of the Cardinals offense was quarterback Tom (Pick Six) Tupa, who got his nickname from tossing six interceptions in one game. Pick Six was also a game in the Arizona State Lottery, only you had better odds buying one of those tickets than you did betting on the local team. A sorry lot, those Cardinals back then.

But I spent Super Sunday with my laptop open, banging out some work, with the game playing on the radio. And I nearly screamed my lungs out as the New Orleans Saints shocked everyone and beat the Colts to win the NFL title.

The Saints? Who dat? Who dey? What were they doing in the Super Bowl?

Back when the Rams were still in L.A., the Saints were horrible. They were about the only team those Cardinals could beat. The Aints.

But this year's Super Bowl was the biggest feelgood sports story you're going to hear for a long time. Less than five years ago, their city was torn apart by Hurricane Katrina. The city's population was cut in half from all the deaths, evacuations, and totally unlivable conditions. And in The Superdome, the Saints' home stadium, you got to see all the carnage close up.

Like everyone else then, I practically lived in front of the TV watching the Katrina footage. I saw the footage of riverboat casinos blown across parking lots in nearby Biloxi, and remembered a few friends of mine who worked there. Via the Weather Channel and news programs I saw the flooded streets of New Orleans, the destroyed houses marked with the number of dead people found inside, the looters breaking into stores. And the human devastation inside the Superdome.

I remember thinking that, after Katrina, it would be nearly impossible to get anyone to enter the Superdome again.

People died in that building.

Forget about football; a boy's game was the farthest thing from anyone's mind.

Survival was what it was all about, and the greatest gift anyone could give was a bottle of water.

Like many a good journalist, I'm a sucker for an underdog story. A story of redemption. And sometimes it's a sticky wicket. In the 2001 World Series I even considered pulling for those Yankees just because of 9/11. This is important to consider, because I'd rather eat a live bug than cheer for the folks in pinstripes. Fortunately, sanity -- and the Arizona Diamondbacks -- prevailed, and for the 35th year in a row I was rooting for the Yankees to get smoked.

This year's Super Bowl was a great story, five years in the making. Most of the story didn't happen on the gridiron.

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Birthdays in the house ...

Absolutely must mention this ...

Dad turns 82 ...

and Stan Getz would have been 83. (Video on The Jam Session, Reloaded.)

Happy Birthday, Dad! Sorry, no videos of you today.

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Cooking without salt doesn't mean bland dinner

I'm still thinking about salt here; talk of more government regulation always does this to me.

I don't use much salt. I don't even keep it in the house. Part of it is the health angle, but part of it is just plain preference. I use a lot of other seasonings in the kitchen, and my cooking -- which I'd describe as more utilitarian than gourmet -- is anything but bland. When I eat I want to actually taste something; it's part of the pleasure of eating.

Here's a partial inventory of my spice rack:

• Mrs. Dash Garlic & Herb seasoning blend: This is my go-to, and I use it like most people use salt.
• Mrs. Dash Extra Spicy seasoning blend: I use this when I want to kick it up a notch.
• Tabasco sauce: Required. I use it in my morning grits, too. A bit hotter and more of an aged-in-the-keg taste than Texas Pete.
• 5th Season Italian Seasoning: Any kind of Italian seasoning will work; this is the cheap stuff (half a buck at WalMart). Has thyme, oregano, and who-knows-what in it. I'll use it in eggs and on grilled cheese sandwiches, too.
• Garlic powder: Another must-have. Leave the garlic salt for the amateurs.
• Tony Chachere's Original Creole Seasoning: This does have salt, but the red pepper is enough to counterbalance the effects.
• Cavender's All Purpose Greek Seasoning: A friend turned me on to this. It has salt and monosodium glutamate in it, and I don't use it much. It's good on burgers, though.
• Dill weed: Good on fish and in casseroles; gives a little extra tangy bite.

But I do have a stash of pretzels somewhere in yonder kitchen. After reading about New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg's campaign to regulate salt usage in restaurants and processed food, I need some junk food ... and I need it now.

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Overlooked (again) at annual think tank

Renaissance Weekend, the annual confab of all the world's greatest thinkers, is meeting here in Charleston through New Year's Day.

And again, I wasn't invited.

What's up with that?

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