Update: John Wooden dies at 99

Like the man said:

"Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books — especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day."

Other Woodenisms:

"Learn as if you were to live forever; live as if you were to die tomorrow."

"Don't give up on your dreams, or your dreams will give up on you."

Those 10 NCAA basketball championships with UCLA seem to be a mere footnote to the man's life.

The sports scene needs more guys like this. Shoot, the whole world at large needs more guys like this.

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Art Linkletter dead at 97

Another legend gone ... but overcoming some rough spots in his life, making it to 97, dying at home ... you can't beat that.

Art Linkletter Dead at 97: "Art Linkletter, whose People Are Funny and House Party shows entertained millions of TV viewers in the 1950s and '60s and who remained active as a writer and speaker through his ninth decade, died today at age 97. Linkletter was known on TV for his funny interviews with children and..."

In case you're wondering, yes, I remember watching him on the tube (black and white, of course) when I was a young'un. As did the rest of the Baby Boom generation. And yes, kids do say the darnedest things; that part hasn't changed much.

(NBC photo shows Art Linkletter in 1969.)

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Vicar's shoplifting advice a symptom of the times

A Church of England vicar said earlier this week that if you're down and out, shoplifting may be the answer.

Father Tim Jones, the parish priest of St Lawrence and St Hilda in York across the pond, raised eyebrows worldwide when he suggested this course of action.

"My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift," he said. "I do not offer such advice because I think that stealing is a good thing, or because I think it is harmless, for it is neither."

It's better, he said, to steal from a large company that can better absorb the loss than a mom-and-pop operation, and to only take what you need.

The Venerable Richard Seed, Archdeacon of York, says the church does not endorse Fr. Jones' suggestion. "The Church of England does not advise anyone to shoplift, or break the law in any way," he said. "Father Tim Jones is raising important issues about the difficulties people face when benefits are not forthcoming, but shoplifting is not the way to overcome these difficulties."

There's a name for this mindset Fr. Jones seems to subscribe to. It's called "situational ethics," and if there's anything that explains why our society is on a fast train to nowhere, that's it.

With situational ethics, a person is constantly looking for a justification for his wrong actions, covering his butt with slick semantics, or couching his choices in lawyer-proof language. It could be someone saying he steals because he's poor, a politician who sells his vote for pork and calls it "compromise," or an adulterous president quibbling over the definition of "is," but it's all the same. Situational ethics puts us on the slippery slope to no ethics at all.

Hate to sound all intellectual and stuff, but some things are meant to be in black and white. Either something's right or it's not. Either something's true or it's not.

Now what's so difficult about that?

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Wrestler had nice second career - in music videos

Pro wrestler Capt. Lou Albano, who found a nice second career with 80s pop singer Cyndi Lauper, diedWednesday at 76.

According to CNN:

He started as a tag team wrestler in the 1950s but became a successful manager of champion wrestlers in the 1970s, according to a biography on the WWE Web site ... Albano was recognizable by his penchant for unbuttoned Hawaiian shirts and a trademark beard, which was usually bound by a rubber band ... his persona earned him the distinction of "one of the most hated men" in wrestling for 15 years, the WWE biography said ... Albano's image evolved in the 1980s, when he teamed with Lauper on several music videos, such as "Girls Just Want to Have Fun," and wrestling appearances.

So of course, I must include a link to the "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" video. It's classic stuff. Remember when MTV did videos?

(And who'd think I'd start feeling nostalgic for the 80s?)

Bird-borne parasite may have felled Tyrannosaurus

Remember that T-rex that scared you silly in Jurassic Park? The one that even ate lawyers?

Scientists are now suggesting one specimen, a 7-ton monster now on display in Chicago, may have been killed by something you'd need a microscope to find.

This is from Yahoo! News:

... the remains of Sue, a star attraction of the Field Museum in Chicago, possess holes in her jaw that some believed were battle scars, the result of bloody combat with another dinosaur, possibly another T. rex ... Now researchers suggest these scars did not result from a clash of titans, but rather from a lowly parasite. The infection in Sue's throat and mouth may have been so severe that the 42-foot-long, 7-ton dinosaur starved to death.... the ailment the scientists propose felled Sue and other T. rexes is trichomonosis, also known as trichomoniasis. In birds, the disease is caused by Trichomonas gallinae, a single-celled protozoan. Although some birds, such as pigeons, commonly host the parasite but suffer few ill effects, in birds of prey such as falcons and hawks, the germ causes a pattern of serious lesions in the lower beak that closely matches the holes in the jaws of Sue and occurs in the same anatomical location ... "It's ironic to think that an animal as mighty as 'Sue' probably died as a result of a parasitic infection. I'll never look at a feral pigeon the same way again," said researcher Steven Salisbury at the University of Queensland in Australia ...

I just had to include this scene. For me, it was one of those rare uplifting moments in cinematic history. Folks in the movie house thought I was crazy when I gave it a standing ovation. OK. That's another story.

Video: From Jurassic Park, Universal Pictures.

Medical mixup wipes out wild jaguar population

This medical mixup proved to be costly, as the last wild jaguar in the United States was extinguished.

I can hear the Game And Fish people in Arizona right now: "Whoops, clumsy me!"

This is from New Times, an alternative newspaper in Phoenix:

In February, Game and Fish trapped and tagged a jaguar named "Macho B," as part of an effort to track the migration patterns of mountain lions and other animals near the Mexico-Arizona border ... it was released back into the wild until March, when they recaptured the jaguar and determined it was suffering kidney failure ... that was the end of the road for "Macho" and he was euthanized ... as medical records later showed, "Macho B," who happened to be the last known wild Jaguar in the United States, was more likely dehydrated than suffering kidney failure, and giving the animal a little water probably would have done the trick ... oops.

Now, that's an error that's a little hard to fix, yes?

Photo: Well, that's the last of 'em. "Macho B," in healthier times. Photo by the Arizona Fish And Game Department.

Into the future: The bookless library

I guess the future is now, and we're looking at it at Cushing Academy, a prep school near Boston.

According to The Boston Globe, the school cleared out all its bound volumes and will replace them with electronic books. There are other articles on the subject from engadget and Make magazine, too.

Here's the skinny:

Instead of a library, the academy is spending nearly $500,000 to create a “learning center,’’ though that is only one of the names in contention for the new space. In place of the stacks, they are spending $42,000 on three large flat-screen TVs that will project data from the Internet and $20,000 on special laptop-friendly study carrels. Where the reference desk was, they are building a $50,000 coffee shop that will include a $12,000 cappuccino machine. And to replace those old pulpy devices that have transmitted information since Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press in the 1400s, they have spent $10,000 to buy 18 electronic readers made by Amazon.com and Sony. Administrators plan to distribute the readers, which they’re stocking with digital material, to students looking to spend more time with literature.

The Globe says it isn't Fahrenheit 451, that cautionary Ray Bradbury tale where books are replaced by electronic media and firemen exist only to burn books and the houses in which they are stored. But somehow, that book keeps coming to mind as I read the accounts.

I like technology, and I am seldom far from my laptop. As I write this, I am also searching for ebook readers for this laptop, preferably of the open-source kind (just finished downloading ybook from Spacejock Software). And I have a few electronic books on hard drive, mostly from the free Gutenberg project.

But while there's a real gee-whiz aspect to electronic books, nothing beats the bound, on-paper book. Just like you can't truly reproduce the sound of a Hammond B-3 organ electronically (though many have tried), you can't recreate the feel of paper, the smell of ink. Maybe it's my age that has something to do with it (though to say they used scrolls in my elementary school is nothing but a vicious rumor). Small as it is, I can't stow my laptop in my hip pocket. I don't have to worry about batteries running out in a paperback. I can't run to the thrift store to pick up another armload of e-books. And, even though my geek quotient is relatively high, I do draw the line at taking the laptop into the bathroom, but that's my favorite reading room. I have the permanent ring around my butt to prove it.

OK. We're in a holiday weekend. You may have a barbecue or picnic or time with friends, but at least carve out a hole in your schedule and curl up with a book.

Any kind of book, as long as it's a real one.

Photo: Cushing Academy's library is now in transition. “When I look at books, I see an outdated technology, like scrolls before books,’’ said headmaster James Tracy. (Mark Wilson for The Boston Globe)

#2 man asks Sanford to resign

Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer asked embattled state head Mark Sanford to step down today, but swears he's not interested in taking over the top spot in next year's election.

Bauer renewed his pledge to stay out of the 2010 race if Sanford resigns.

This is according to The State, and a video is included.

Bauer is the first constitutional officer to join a growing chorus of lawmakers and other political leaders pushing for Sanford to resign, including a majority of Republican state senators ... Bauer said he wanted to send a message to State House leadership that Sanford needs to step down and he won’t stand in the way. Some lawmakers have been hesitant to push for Sanford’s resignation because it would give Bauer an unfair advantage in the 2010 race, as he would be running for governor as an incumbent.

The House Republican Caucus -- Sanford's and Bauer's party -- will discuss whether to impeach Sanford during a retreat this weekend.

Sanford's political career -- and personal life -- took a massive swan dive over the past two months after he disappeared from his job for a few days and eventually admitted he spent the time in Argentina with a mistress. Sanford's wife, Jenny, has since moved from the Governor's mansion.

Photo: Andre Bauer, left, at a Wednesday afternoon news conference. By Tim Dominick/tdominick@thestate.com

Abercrombie's sales go swirling, swirling

Abercrombie & Fitch, once a top name in trendy clothing, reports 10 straight months of double-digit sales losses.

Gee, you can do the math from there. How many months can be left at that rate?

Here's part of it: While other companies are offering deep discounts for these recessionary times, A&F doesn't want to cheapen the brand. So they're hurting.

From Time:

What lessons can be learned from the Abercrombie experience? The first has to do with pricing. As the economy spiraled downward and competitors like Aéropostale started discounting like crazy, Abercrombie refused to lower prices. The company insisted that price-cutting would cheapen the cachet of the brand ... you would figure that discounting would provide goodwill and build customer loyalty, especially in lean times. After all, with more grateful customers in tow, wouldn't the company be in a great position to ride the upswing associated with an economic recovery, raising prices again when times get better?

And if I was the CEO, I'd be polishing up the ol' resume right now.

In a Chicago store, A&F sweatshirts sit ... and sit ... and sit. Photo by Tim Boyle / Getty

Guitar, studio innovator Les Paul dies

Les Paul, one of the first great guitar heroes, died Thursday at 94.

Although an excellent player, Paul is better known for his work on the technical side of making music. He's considered one of the fathers of multitrack recording, a studio staple. And how can you forget the Gibson Les Paul, the solid-body guitar that bears his name?

From CNN:

"Les Paul set a standard for musicianship and innovation that remains unsurpassed. He was the original guitar hero, and the kindest of souls," said Joe Satriani in a statement. "Last October I joined him onstage at the Iridium club in [New York], and he was still shredding. He was and still is an inspiration to us all." "Les Paul was a shining example of how full one's life can be, he was so vibrant and full of positive energy," said Slash in a statement ... in the 1930s and '40s, he played with the bandleader Fred Waring and several big band singers, including Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and the Andrews Sisters, as well as with his own Les Paul Trio. In the early 1950s, he had a handful of huge hits with his then-wife, Mary Ford, such as "How High the Moon" and "Vaya Con Dios ..." His guitar style, heavily influenced by jazzman Django Reinhardt, featured lightning-quick runs and double-time rhythms.

As far as pedigree, it doesn't get any better than Django. But check this out:

In 1948, after being involved in a severe car accident, he asked the doctor to set his arm permanently in a guitar-playing position.

Now, that's a musician's musician.

Sanford tells Rotary club he's political toast

Although he's a lame-duck governor, Mark Sanford had nothing but politcal future until two months ago.

On Wednesday, he aired his own obituary, as reported in the Charleston Post & Courier:

"This is truly not about Mark Sanford anymore," Sanford said Wednesday morning during a speech to the Twin City Rotary Club in Batesburg-Leesville ...

"A lot of folks were convinced that I was running for president. My political days are over ..." Sanford apologized to the friendly crowd for letting them down.

They used to play two

Remember doubleheaders?

I'm old enough that I do.

We're talking fan-friendly baseball at its finest -- as Tom Verducci of Sports Illustrated recalls:

It was free major league baseball. It was the scheduled doubleheader, an idea so outrageously fan friendly that every owner today -- every owner for the past 13 years -- regards it as verboten ... you paid one price, the same price you would pay for a single game, but you saw two games. In effect, the second game was free ...

and ...

... something in the fabric of the game, however, was lost with the death of the doubleheader. Is there another aphorism in baseball more iconic and sweet than “Let’s play two!” -- the baseball philosophy from Mr. Cub, Ernie Banks, guaranteed to put a smile on your face?

The last scheduled doubleheader, by the way, took place June 7, 1996, at the Metrodome between the Athletics and the Twins.

You still hear the term "doubleheader" used as part of the language to describe two of anything, though it's anyone's guess how long that will last. It'll be tragic when the term "doubleheader" becomes as passe as the baseball version.

Photo: Ernie "Let's Play Two" Banks after hitting one out.

Clunkers get prescribed 'death sentence'

Whatever happened to those cars the government bought up in the, oh, 15 minutes that the Cash For Clunkers was up and running?

Let's put it this way: They're not living any more. This stuff they call "liquid glass" is great stuff. An excerpt, from the Wall Street Journal:

... what Mr. Mueller discovered is that sodium silicate is the designated agent of death for cars surrendered under the federal cash-for-clunkers program. To receive government reimbursement, auto dealers who offer rebates on new cars in exchange for so-called clunkers must agree to "kill" the old models, using a method the government outlines in great detail in its 136-page manual for dealers: Drain the engine of oil and replace it with two quarts of a sodium-silicate solution ...

Associated Presws photo: One dead engine, warning label and all.

Jazz composer/thinker Russell dies

Here's one for jazzman George Russell, who died Tuesday at 86. He wasn't one of the better-known performers, but his long shadow made works such as Miles Davis' "Kind Of Blue" and John Coltrane's "A Love Supreme" possible.

An excerpt from the Boston Globe:

Considered one of the most creative innovators and profound thinkers in the history of jazz, Mr. Russell wrote ‘‘Lydian Chromatic Concept of Tonal Organization’’ in 1953. The treatise, esoteric in title and ground-shifting in effect, eventually transformed the manner many jazz musicians approached their work ... before ‘‘Lydian,’’ jazz soloists worked primarily under a framework of progressive chords, weaving their improvisations around and through a repeated chordal theme. The effect could be constricting ...

Which means he was quite a thinker in the jazz scene.

Oscar Mayer dies at 95

This whistle helped put Oscar's name on the map. It's since been updated, but nothing's quite like the original. You've got to have your wiener whistles, not to mention wienermobiles. Photo from the web site.

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More than simply a brand name or the punchline to a catchy ad jingle, Oscar G. Mayer, the former chairman of his family's eponymous meat products company has died. He passed away Monday at the age of 95 in a hospice facility in Fitchburg, Wis.