Support your local TSA (or not)

Got these courtesy of talk show host Neal Boortz. Check 'em out -- they're a real hoot.

Remember, though: No laughing in the airport pat-down line. No levity whatsoever. (I found this last part out the hard way while boarding from Kona Airport, but that was too long ago to go into.)

###

... and winter's not even here yet ...

At 4:10 PM in Charleston, SC:

38.5 °F

Mostly Cloudy

Meanwhile, in Syracuse:

21.6 °F

Snow Freezing Fog

And in Riverside, CA

76.0 °F

Clear

How 'bout Bullhead City, Arizona?

67.3 °F

Clear

And Kailua-Kona, Hawaii:

81.0 °F

Clear

(It's always like that in Kona. I think their thermometer is busted.)

So if it seems cold to you, it is NOT your imagination.

Mark your calendar: Asteroid strike on agenda in 2182

H'mmm ... from the look of things, what I write today will make absolutely no difference to anybody in about 172 years.

Good to know. I guess I can stir things up without worry.

FOXNews.com - Scientist Warns Massive Asteroid Could Hit Earth in 2182

###

Don't just do something, sit there: America's laziest states

(He's not sleeping; he's hard at work inspecting his eyelids. Photo by Getty Images.)

Call it laziness or just smelling the roses a little bit, but taking it easy is an art form in some areas. Here's an interesting study on the subject by Business Week:

America's Laziest States 2010: More Sitting, Less Doing - BusinessWeek

The 10 most sedentary states are:

1) Louisiana

2) Mississippi

3) Arkansas

4) North Carolina

5) Tennessee

6) Kentucky

7) West Virginia

8) South Carolina

9) Alabama

10) Delaware

Of those 10, eight are in the Solid South while border-state Kentucky counts as a ninth in some circles. But dipping into the next rank of 10 you find the Northeast fairly well represented, a few Midwestern states, and one -- Arizona -- west of the Rockies.

Surprisingly, New York ranked 11th. A surprise because you'd think of all those get-'er-done ADHD types in The City. I guess those slackers upstate pulled the rankings right down.

South Carolina, the place I call home, ranks #8, Here's what Business Week says:

South Carolinians watch more television than all other Americans, according to BLS data. A report by the South Carolina Health & Environmental Control Dept. shows about half of adults do not get the recommended amount of physical activity, only one-third have sidewalks in their neighborhood, and only 37.4 percent use walking trails, parks, playgrounds, and sports fields for physical activity.

We're not lazy. We just know how to relax.

According to the stats from various sources, folks in Mississippi sleep the most at 8 hours, 59 minutes per day. That state also has the highest obesity rate at 33.8 percent. South Carolinians watch the most TV at 3 hours, 7 minutes per day, while Louisianans do less actual work at 2 hours, 41 minutes per day.

This working-per-day is an interesting figure, and it comes from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. That's the average for everyone aged 15 and older, and doesn't really take unemployment rates into consideration. Still, that's a lot of screwing off. By contrast, South Carolinians work a relatively industrious (!) 3 hours, 26 minutes per day.

Strangely enough, age isn't as much a factor as you'd think. Maine, the state with the oldest residents (median age 41.5 years) placed 16th, while Florida (40.1 years) came in 16th.

I'm surprised California didn't make the list ... oh, they said "laziest," not "craziest."

Never mind.

###

Now brewing: Roadkill Beer

Ewwwwwww!

This came from the Mental Floss blog.

Enjoy!

Now Brewing: Roadkill Beer: "

A brewery in Scotland has begun brewing what they claim is the world’s most potent beer. You’d think that would be enough of a marketing hook right there. But apparently not, because the most bizarre thing about The End of History beer is that it’s sold in bottles nestled inside the taxidermied bodies of dead animals. Yes, that’s correct ... this Telegraph article explains more, including the awful details of how the animals met their maker:

A taxidermist in Doncaster worked on the animals, which were not killed for bottling the new drink, with some having been killed on the roads.

Wow. As if dead rodent beer wasn’t unappetizing enough, now we get to picture roadkill rodent beer. After hearing that, I don’t think there is anything that could be said about this product that would make me want to buy it ...

###

Sp@m: It's what's for dinner

Have you checked your inbox lately?

Yeah, I'm in another one of those moods.


###

Mystery Senate nominee Alvin Greene swears he's serious; few agree

Just when you thought a little sanity had finally entered South Carolina politics, well, forget it!

Welcome to the political world, South Carolina style.


On Tuesday, some guy named Alvin Greene won the Democratic primary for United States Senate, to go against conservative Jim Demint.


Alvin who?


That's what the Democrats are wondering. House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn called for an investigation into the campaign. Party leaders are calling for Greene to step aside and let a real candidate run. Some party officials have even questioned his mental state. Greene, however, is saying he'll continue his run.

It's pretty obvious that South Carolina Democrats had a mass rectal-cranial inversion when they went to the voting booths this time around. 


By all accounts the 32-year-old Greene is an unemployed veteran, and no one is sure where he was able to pony up the $10,400 filing fee.


On top of that, Greene was arrested last November for felony obscenity, which he chooses not to comment on. But none of this stuff came up until after his nomination.


He beat out former legislator Victor Rawl for the nomination, with 59 percent of the vote. Besides his background, Rawl has a campaign war chest of $186,000 while Greene doesn't have a pot to pee in.


"60 percent (of the vote) is not luck," Greene told MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann. "It's a decisive win."


Interesting, considering he really didn't campaign. No one knew who he was. There was no indication he did any traveling. there is an "unofficial" website for him, which he says is not an authoritative campaign site. There was also a Twitter account for him, but he said that was not his either. It has since been taken down; a wise move considering he has far fewer followers than even my modest 635.


And Democrats are saying Greene is nothing but a Republican plant, a tomato can set up to run against top target DeMint. But Greene says that isn't so.


"I have always been a Democrat, and I will always be a Democrat."


His chief campaign pitch is the need for jobs. That's a natural one for Greene, as he also needs a job.


You absolutely must check out this interview with Olbermann. It's a real hoot. Folks on Twitter are calling it "the most WTF interview ever" (I'm not gonna explain what that means). Greene sounds out of it, uncomfortable, inarticulate in the interview, even with Olbermann's softball questions.


According to Mother Jones Magazine, Greene is on intimate terms with these WTF moments:


"Greene insists that he paid the $10,400 filing fee and all other campaign expenses from his own personal funds. 'It was 100 percent out of my pocket. I'm self-managed. It's hard work, and just getting my message to supporters. I funded my campaign 100 percent out of my pocket and self-managed,' said Greene, who sounded anxious and unprepared to speak to the public. But despite his lack of election funds, Greene claims to have criss-crossed the state during his campaign—though he declined to specify any of the towns or places he visited or say how much money he spent while on the road. 'It wasn't much, I mean, just, it was—it wasn't much. Not much, I mean, it wasn't much, he said, when asked how much of his own money he spent in the primary. Greene frequently spoke in rapid-fire, fragmentary sentences, repeating certain phrases or interrupting himself multiple times during the same sentence while he searched for the right words. But he was emphatic about certain aspects of his candidacy, insisting that details about his campaign organization, for instance, weren't relevant. 'I'm not concentrating on how I was elected -- it's history. I'm the Democratic nominee -- we need to get talking about America back to work, what's going on, in America.' 


Has anybody figured out what he said yet? If so, please email me a translation.


Imagine how he'd do in a real debate, or in a conversation with a real reporter, providing there are any of those left. He'd be chopped up into cat food.


Not that this seems to make any difference with South Carolina Democrats. They voted for a name and a face, with no other information.


Shoot, if voters are that stupid, they deserve whatever candidate they get.


Meanwhile, it looks like it's gonna be fun times in good ol' South Kackilacky this November.

###

If it's on the Internet, it must be true: Photoshop or not

Don't you love this Photoshop thing?

Pictures can't be considered real evidence anymore. Now, photos can be doctored so you can't tell what's real and what isn't. And about a zillion people can doctor photos right there on their computer and release them on the Internet.

And you know how it works from there. It's on the Internet so you know it's true, right? If you believe that, I know a Nigerian princess who is willing to share her vast fortune with you.

I knew where photo technology was headed in the early 1990s when I was working for the Mohave County (Arizona) Standard. Matt Wanner, the publisher there, had a brand new camera he was dying to show me.

It looked like one of those cameras you used to get for free when you renewed your subscription to Sports Illustrated, but there was a port on the side where you could plug it into your computer. I was looking at my first digital camera. The camera cost a short stack of hundred-dollar bills back then; such is the way with brand new technology.

"Watch this," Matt said as he took my picture. A minute later, my image showed up on the screen. Then he proceeded to alter that photo, using a new program called Photoshop.

"Wow," I said as I watched my nose grow on the screen. OK, there are times I may dump a whole load of Bravo Sierra in your lap, but I thought the nose-growing thing only happened with Gepetto's creation.

On screen, Matt proceeded to give me a haircut. I know there was some psychodrama involved there; back then a lot of my employers were after me to get my hair cut. I'd usually come back with two estimates, but that's another story.

"That's a pretty amazing thing," I said, although inside I had this chilly feeling. Nothing is safe anymore. The practice of journalism was history as of that day.

"You mean I can take part of one photo, part of another photo, and call it real?" I asked.

True, Matt said.

"You mean I can take a picture of the President and put him in bed with Jeanne Kirkpatrick, and create my own sex scandal?" Hey, I'm a journalist. You know that thought has crossed my mind at least once.

There's a joke there, by the way. The president then was Bill Clinton, the original "pants on the ground" guy when that expression meant something entirely different from what it does now. And Jeanne Kirkpatrick, former ambassador to the United Nations, was probably the only woman in history who could make Nancy Pelosi look hot. Not even Photoshop could help either one of them.

It's not just Photoshop. There are a few other graphics editors that can doctor your photos just as well. My computer has GIMP, which is pretty close and a whole lot cheaper (try free). But you don't GIMP a photo, but you can sure Photoshop it. That program is now part of the language.

OK. I promised. Some Photoshopped works:

This is PrezBo in the wake of the ever-growing BP oil spill.

And you mustn't forget George Bush, checking out the scene of Hurricane Katrina in 2005.

Suffice it to say, BP may become Obama's Katrina. But you already figured that.

Oh yeah. Here's me, playing the last set of a two-day bluegrass festival. I was in four different bands and each of those bands played at least one gig at the festival -- plus a Saturday night show elsewhere that ran into overtime.

If I can't get my coffee in the morning, there's always Photoshop. I might even look human.

###

Does Facebook need its own anti-malware service?

I got this from ReadWriteWeb, and am running it in its entirety. It's interesting, even though the writers were too kind to Facebook. This, by the way, was a sponsored post--meaning it's pretty suspect. My comments are interjected below.

Does Facebook Need Its Own Anti-Malware Service?: "

Does Facebook need to run its own anti-virus and anti-malware security system? That's a question that may need to be addressed in the near future as the now almost 500 million users on the social networking service are facing regular attacks from rogue applications, phishing attempts and other sorts of hacks, not to mention the onslaught of viral, but often completely inaccurate reposted status messages that spread around the network like modern-day chain letters. These messages warn users about some supposed threat occurring on site, but are often either misguided or out-and-out lies.

Out and out lies, my butt. I spent about an hour chasing down something that a) sent random weird messages to my Facebook friends and b) was identified as malware by several excellent sources. This missive smacks of spin control to me.

Is it time for Facebook to step in and do more to protect its network and its users from threats like these?

Rogue Facebook Apps Top Rogue Anti-Spyware During Busy Weekend

The latest threat to make the rounds on Facebook is a rogue application dubbed 'Distracting Beach Babes.' The app compromised the security of thousands of users' accounts by way of status messages that appear to be from friends. But when the users click through on the tantalizing link, they're asked to give an application permission to run. The app then tells users they must update their 'FLV player' before they can see the video. Those that attempt to do so are sent off-site to another page where malware is installed on their computer.

This is hardly the first rogue application to take advantage of Facebook's automated app approval systems. In fact, only days ago, a similar attack was underway. This one was a link to what was purportedly the 'sexiest video ever!' (Those hackers sure know how to entice, don't they?)

Shoot, this wasn't even the first attack involving the FLV player. If y'all haven't read the sordid tale yet, do so. 

This particular application led to a very busy weekend for anti-virus firms, indicating a major push by rogue Facebook apps, says AVG's chief research officer, Roger Thompson. Via the AVG website, Thompson reported that from midnight to 9 a.m. on May 15, its anti-malware software blocked more than 30,000 rogue Facebook applications, more than three times the rate of rogue anti-spyware.

In other words, the new anti-malware wave won't be coming from email, IM or other random websites users are tricked into visiting. It will come from your Facebook friends... or so it will seem.

Thompson acknowledged that Facebook's security team was 'very responsive' in identifying and removing these sorts of rogue applications, but Facebook's by-default viral nature allowed them to spread rapidly and affect large numbers of users before the apps could be removed. 'This attack was actually stunning in terms of scale,' he said.

"Very responsive?" I'll bite. This issue came to my attention May 2. If they were "very responsive," this would be a dead issue and no more needs to be said or written. 

Oh. I forgot. It was a different video this time. That'll throw 'em every time. Silly me.

Rogue Apps, Phishing, Scams and More

Other recent Facebook-related malware attacks have included fake Facebook password reset emails, the seemingly never-ending spread of the Koobface worm, the 'stalk my profile' scam (a rogue app with 25 variations, claiming it could tell you who visited your profile), the rogue 'like' app (which borrows the infamous like icon), and many others. Other unpatched attack vectors pop up everyday, like this security hole which researcher Joey Tyson (a.k.a theharmonyguy) describes as a 'dream situation for phishing.' This vulnerability is especially troubling as it enables a hacker to present a convincing Facebook login page that actually contains the term 'facebook.com' within its URL. (See it action here. Can you tell that's not the real Facebook.com?)

The situation has gotten so bad that users, in an attempt to be helpful, end up spreading around messages about various threats. Unfortunately, the threats they report are often false or are simply harmless bugs that Facebook is fixing, adding to the confusion. Case in point is the warning that anyone who received 'tons of friend suggestions' was infected with a virus. The reality, ironically, involved a widespread misunderstanding of the actual Facebook friend suggestion feature. The situation is so out of control that people are now spreading jokes poking fun at the trend itself.

See my above comment. If this was a bug Facebook was fixing, this would not be an issue. Next question ...?

Facebook's Security Efforts to Date

For what it's worth, earlier this year, Facebook implemented virus-scanning for the PCs of compromised users after they had fallen victim to an attack. The company also runs its own Security Page, which serves as a warning system of sorts. The page now has over 1.8 million fans (or in the new lingo, 'people who like this'). But on a network of nearly 500 million, this is the equivalent of a drop in the bucket. And it may not be enough to combat this ever-growing threat.

Ohh, yeah. Online virus scanning of the end user's computer. There are a few services that offer this; you will see their ads popping up every once in a while. Unfortunately, these are the kind of "services" that ad a whole different breed of malware to your computer. I'll pass on that.

And Facebook implementing this virus scanning? The way they totally don't give a rip about user security, I'd pass on that too. And if you have half a brain, you'll likewise pass.

Sophos security researcher Graham Cluley recently pondered this same question, asking, 'Isn't it time that Facebook set up an early warning system on their network, through which they can alert their... users about breaking threats as they happen?' The impact of such a feature could be dramatic, he explains. 'Imagine just how many people could have been protected if a simple message had appeared on all users' screens warning them of the outbreak.'

Whether an early warning system is actually needed is debatable. Another option would be for Facebook to more closely monitor the applications submitted to its platform. As the New York Times recently reported, 'Facebook's automated system for application developers leaves a door open to the creation and distribution of abusive applications,' even if the apps' ability to spread is short-lived.

But apps that only live for a few hours can still have thousands of victims. Maybe it's time for Facebook to make sure they never get to live at all?

Image credits in original article: Facebook; Sophos

Bottom line: Facebook has not earned my trust. There's no way on this earth I'd trust them to do anything with my computer. I won't even let them wipe the dust off my screen. And now this?

###

Facebook handing advertisers names, hometowns

Might this be another reason to ditch Facebook? 

From Newser:

Facebook Handing Advertisers Names, Hometowns: "Despite promises to the contrary, Facebook and MySpace are supplying information to advertisers that can be used to find an individual's name, age, hometown and occupation, reports the Wall Street Journal . Typically on the Web, advertisers receive nothing more than an unintelligible string of letters and numbers 'identifying' an Internet...

The full article can be read in the Wall Street Journal:

Facebook, MySpace and several other social-networking sites have been sending data to advertising companies that could be used to find consumers' names and other personal details, despite promises they don't share such information without consent ... the practice, which most of the companies defended, sends user names or ID numbers tied to personal profiles being viewed when users click on ads. After questions were raised by The Wall Street Journal, Facebook and MySpace moved to make changes. By Thursday morning Facebook had rewritten some of the offending computer code ... advertising companies are receiving information that could be used to look up individual profiles, which, depending on the site and the information a user has made public, include such things as a person's real name, age, hometown and occupation ... several large advertising companies identified by the Journal as receiving the data, including Google Inc.'s DoubleClick and Yahoo Inc.'s Right Media ...

OK. Have you dumped your Facebook account yet? While I do miss the networking with friends, I'm surviving pretty well without it. I sure don't miss the malware. Or the privacy settings that require a degree in nuclear physics to figure out. Or the random people I really don't want to hear from. Or all this Farmville and FishyWorld or whatever-it-is crap that's cluttering up my computer.

###

 

Obsolete Anonymous: Who's next to join?

I saw this in the Huffington Post, and man, does it make me feel ancient!

J.A. Konrath: Is Print Dead?: "

Moderator: Welcome to Obsolete Anonymous! I've gathered you all here to welcome our latest member, the Print Industry.

Print Industry: Hello, everyone. But there's been a mistake. I don't belong here.

(chuckles all around)

Print Industry: I'm serious. I'm not obsolete. I'm relevant. Print books have been around for hundreds of years. They're never going to be replaced.

VHS Tapes: Yeah, we all thought like that once.

LP Records: It's called denial. It's tough to deal with at first.

Print Industry: Look, everyone, I assume you all think that ebooks are going to put me out of business. But that won't happen.

Phone Company: I remember when you couldn't walk twenty yards in a city without seeing a pay phone. Then those gosh darn cell phones came along. Do you know some people don't even have land lines anymore?

(Phone Company begins to cry. Print Phonebooks joins in. So does Dial Up Modems. Encyclopedia Set, wearing an I Hate Wikipedia T-Shirt, pops a few Prozac. A group hug ensues.)

Video Rental Store: What Phone Company is trying to say is that when a technology comes along that's faster, easier, and cheaper, the old technology--and all the companies that supported it--tends to fade away.

Print Industry: Why are you here, Video Rental Store? There are a lot of you around.

CDs: There were record stores everywhere once.

Cassette Tapes: Hell yeah! They sold cassettes, too! Someone give me a high five!

(no one gives Cassette Tapes a high five)

Video Rental Store: Things looked good for a while. I had a decent run. Then I got hit by all sides. Netflix. On Demand. Tivo. YouTube. But the nail in the coffin came in the past two years. Hulu. Roku--which allows subscribers to stream video instantly. iTunes and Amazon offering movie downloads. Red Box, which rents DVDs for 99 cents and takes up no more space than a candy machine...

Print Industry: But ebooks are just a tiny percentage of the market. People have been reading print since Gutenberg. They won't adapt to change that easily.

SLR Cameras: You're correct. It takes a few years for people to fully embrace new technology. Some never do. Instant Cameras never replaced me.

Instant Cameras: Shut up, SLR. We both got our butts kicked by digital. How much film did you sell last year?


TV Antennas: I'm still big in some third world countries!

Typewriter: The bottom line is; when technology improves, it becomes widely adopted. Me and Carbon Paper used to have a groovy thing going. I'd make the words, he would make the duplicates. Then Copy Machine got into the act, but he's not doing well now either.

Copy Machine: Effing computers.

Dot Matrix Printer: Effing laser and inkjet. Doesn't anyone else miss tearing off the perforated hole punches on the side of paper? Don't they miss the feel and smell of that?

Fold-Out Paper Maps: I agree! Isn't it fun to open up a big map while you're driving, in hopes of figuring out where you are? Don't you miss the old days before cars came equipped with GPS and no one ever used that upstart, MapQuest?

CDs: Effing internet. That's the problem. Instant access to information and entertainment for the whole world. You guys want to talk about pirating and illegal downloads?

(everyone shouts out 'no!')

Moderator: We all read on JA Konrath's blog that the way to fight piracy is with cost and convenience. Print Industry, are you lowering your prices and making it easier for customers to download your books?

Print Industry: Actually, we just raised prices on our ebooks.

(all-around sighs and head shaking)

Moderator: Well, far be it for you to learn from any of our mistakes. Are you making it easier at least?

Print Industry: Well, we've begun windowing titles, releasing them months after the hardcover comes out.

(collective head slapping)

Music Industry: Have you at least tried selling from your own site? I wish I'd done that. But then Apple came along...

Print Industry: Uh... no. We haven't tried that. In fact, some ebooks--we'll use JA Konrath as an example since he was mentioned--aren't even available on all platforms and in all territories.

Moderator: What do you mean? Konrath's ebooks are available all over the place.

Print Industry: Those are the ones he uploads himself. The ones of his that we sell are missing from several key markets, and have been for years. But it's okay. We're paying him much smaller royalties and jacking the prices up high so we can still make a profit. Besides, ebooks are a niche market. Ereading devices are dedicated and expensive.

Arcades: I used to be a thriving industry. Kids dropped millions of quarters in my thousands of locations. But then Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft made home arcade machines, and now people play their videogames on dedicated devices. It's a multi-billion dollar business now, and I can only compete if I sell pizza and give out plastic trinkets to kids with the most foosball tickets. If people want the media, they buy the expensive device. Period.

Print Industry: None of you are listening to me. Print will always be around.

Newspaper Industry: Yeah! What he said!

Print Industry: Let's not compare ourselves, okay Newspaper Industry? No offense.


Newspaper Industry: None taken. Hey, maybe we can help each other. I'm selling advertising space for dirt cheap these days, and...

Print Industry: No thanks. No one reads you anymore. People get their news elsewhere.

Moderator: So why won't people get their novels elsewhere as well?

(Print Industry stands up, pointing a finger around the room.)

Print Industry: Look, this isn't about me. All of you guys have become irrelevant. Technology marched on, and you didn't march with it. But that WILL NOT happen to me. There will always be bookstores, and dead tree books. We'll continue to sell hardcovers at luxury prices, and pay artists 6% to 15% royalties on whatever list price WE deem appropriate. And the masses will buy our books BECAUSE WE SAID SO! WE SHALL NEVER BECOME OBSOLETE!!!


Buggy Whip Industry: Amen, brother! That's what I keep trying to tell these people!

CDs: (whispering to LPs) I give him six years, tops.

All of this begs the question: Who is next to join their ranks? My money is on DVDs, and they haven't been around very long. I can hear 'em now: "&%$#@!! Blu-Ray!"

###

S.C. mulls Arizona-like immigration measure

Fasten your seat belts. This is gonna be a bumpy ride.

From The State, Columbia SC:

S.C. mulls Arizona-like immigration measure: 

A state Senate subcommittee meets this morning to discuss a bill that would empower local police to check the immigration status of anyone they stop or detain.However, it’s too late in the legislative session for the bill, which mimics Arizona’s controversial law, to become state law this year. That leads critics and political watchers to believe today’s meeting is more about political theater than creating a new law.“By doing it when they don’t actually have time to pass the legislation, they get credit for the symbolic stand without having to worry about how to fund the measure,” said Scott Huffman, a Winthrop University political science professor.However, Sen. Larry Martin, R-Pickens, who will lead this morning’s meeting, said that is not the case. None of the five members of the Senate Judiciary subcommittee are up for re-election, he said ...

About time someone got some sense in the state house.

OK. Here's the deal. We have a lot of illegals in South Carolina. It's not like in Arizona or The People's Republic of California, but we've got plenty. Enough in my neighborhood that, when I wear my Border Patrol t-shirt around the mobile home park, everybody scatters. 

The folks who say how terrible Arizona's law is, well, they just don't get it. At the risk of repeating myself, there's a reason these cats are called "illegal aliens," and the operative word here is "illegal." Got that? 

At bottom, we are a nation of laws. That's the only way we can get an even halfway just society around here. 

###

How to tweet your job away, in six easy steps

I've been known to tweet. That's using Twitter to send 140 characters' worth of twaddle to the other tweeps (or is it twerps?) out there in Twitter Land. I'll admit, it's a lot of fun, and once you figure out how to get past the ridiculous signal-to-noise ratio on that microblogging site, it can be useful.

I've used Twitter to spot trends, to get up-to-the-second dispatches on some news event, and even to grab some background information on whatever I'm writing. 

But then, we have a lot of folks who use Twitter just to massage their diseased egos, or to spread a whole bunch of mundane crap all over the world. While many people have used Twitter to find jobs, quite a few used Twitter as a way to lose whatever job they had.

I got this from MentalFloss, and it's a hoot. i urge you to read the article:

How to Tweet Your Way Out of a Job:

"Hate your job? Want to leave without giving two weeks notice? Thanks to Twitter, it’s never been easier to get fired. All you have to do is sign up for an account and follow these simple steps. You’ll be unemployed in no time!"

Step 1: Drunk Tweet

Well, yeah, this goes without saying. You know your boss -- or potential boss -- may be monitoring you on Twitter, Facebook, and all the other social media. But Mike Bacsik, a former ballplayer and now, ex-sports-show host, found out what happens when you mix the tweets with the Lone Stars. Or whatever he was drinking.

Step 2: Break the Law (or Just Anger Your Governor)

I tell you, you need to read the article.

Step 3: Have an NSFW Lifestyle

Step 4: Question Company Policy

D'oh! Never a good idea -- especially if you don't want your boss to know.

Step 5: Make a Celebrity Look Bad

Step 6: Don’t Get Hired in the First Place

From MentalFloss: " ... when recent college grad Skye Riley heard back from Cisco, the computer networking giant, about her job application, one of her first instincts was to tweet about it. Unfortunately, this is what she tweeted: 

@theconnor: Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the work.

The unfortunate part? An employee of Cisco, Tim Levad, came across her post while doing a Twitter search for Cisco. He replied to her by saying:

@timmylevad: Who is the hiring manager. I’m sure they would love to know that you will hate the work. We here at Cisco are versed in the web.

Whoooops!

You see, these computers, handhelds, and smart phones are dangerous toys. Too dangerous to be in the hands of idiots.

###

Earthquake map brings seismic updates, anxiety

How close are we to the Big One?

Or, was that last shaker really the Big One?

Might it be a good idea to buy property in Arizona, thinking it may become coastal land?

Or am I talking through my tinfoil hat again?

Anyway, here's a Web site that gives the latest fault line activity, by the hour, by the magnitude, and all that good stuff. If you live in,  say, California (like I used to), this might give you hours of anxiety-fueling entertainment. Or not.

Enjoy.

###

Everyone wants to crash Cinco de Mayo party

Or something.

This video was shot over a 35-day period in mid-2009, with the camera perched over one trail. Notice how well-enforced our borders are.

Understand, not all illegal aliens are Mexican. They're not even all Latinos. Not all Mexicans are illegal aliens, either. In fact, many second- and third-generation Mexicans do not like illegal aliens. Let's get that up front.

But this invasion -- and I can't think of a cleaner word here -- has changed the population dynamics in the southwest. And the southeast. And everywhere else in the country. While it's an underhanded compliment that people would want to sneak into this country, it's also a slap in the face to working people everywhere, our policy makers, and our law enforcement.

Just sayin'.

###

My Facebook officially shut down, now what?

OK. My Facebook account is officially shut down. I euthanized it this morning.

Now, there's the problem of filling some of that void; social media without the social media.

I found this article in some blog called the Dead Dog Cafe (hey, I don't name these things) that is worthy of my consideration. In truth, there are no real secrets there. The writer suggests using:

• Twitter for status messages. I do use that, but the signal-to-noise ratio is ridiculous. The infrastructure is too wide open, and you usually need some third-party software or service to filter things. It's not as completely messed up as Facebook (give it time), but in the interim it handles my short messaging needs.
• Pidgin for chat (although Meebo is also good for this). Generally, dust off your old chat accounts and instant messaging and use those. Do people still send instant messages?
• Regular email for messages. OK. I still use email, and a lot of it, but I'll admit I'm an anachronism. Email is, like, so '90s. Do the folks of the "millennial" generation use email?

The Low Tech Times (I love the layout, by the way) echoes some of this, but adds blogging to the roll-your-own social media mix. The writer, S. P. Gass concludes: "The only reason I can think of to sign up for a Facebook account is to drive traffic to my own sites."

Which, said and done, is the only real reason I can see for keeping Facebook around (except for my friends who are used to exchanging political comment & other nuggets of wisdom with me). But does Facebook actually drive traffic to these blogs? I can't rightly tell, though it's helped make my circle of friends aware of my doings and writings. 

Gass (great name) further stirs the puddin' in an update to his original 2009 piece: Spend time with family and friends in person. Send a postcard every so often. Send an email. And he reiterated the concept of blogging, preferably in a platform where you own the words you write.

On Facebook the natives are getting restless, and you might find some new flavors of Kool-Aid around. But it doesn't matter what flavor you're drinking, the results are still the same.

Meanwhile, there's a new Facebook group that apparently started within the last few minutes: "10 Reasons To Delete Your Facebook Account." Uhh, it ought to be interesting to see how many members it attracts:

• Hypocrites will join the group, maintaining their Facebook accounts to do so.
• Non-hypocrites will merely delete their accounts.

But then, you find that in the real world, too. Some folks will complain and start a movement about something that upsets them, and in doing so feed the problem. Others will quietly (or maybe not so quietly) cease to be a party to the problem. Unfortunately, our society -- particularly our political structure these days -- seems to favor the first course of action. 

See you around the Web ...

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Twinkies turn 80: Is the original still edible?

It was 80 years ago, on April 6, 1930, when the first Twinkie went on the market. As now they travelled in pairs; selling two for a nickel.

The then-Continental Baking Co. (now Hostess) was looking for something cheap, a snack that would go over well in an economically depressed time. Now, almost 500 million are sold every year, and that snack cake became part of our folklore.

Never mind the fact they became a legal defense for murder (albeit an unsuccessful one) in Dan White's trial for killing San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk in 1978. And just ignore the hypothesis that Twinkies are locked in a time-warp of freshness, they're the stuff of legend.

Here are some Twinkies facts, from the Orange County Register:

• Twinkie inventor James Dewar named the snack after a billboard he saw advertising Twinkle Toe Shoes, but never got paid royalties for his creation.
• The Twinkie originally had banana filling, but bananas were rationed during WWII, so vanilla was substituted. Customers liked it so much it stayed in there.
• The deep-fried Twinkie was invented at the Texas State Fair. Here’s a recipe.
• In a nod to the supposed indestructibility of the snacks, the T.W.I.N.K.I.E. Project lists several silly experiments that can be performed on them, such as the “gravitational response test” (i.e. dropping one from a 6th-floor window).

So what's the story about the never-aging, bionic Twinkies? Untrue, says Snopes. But one thing that did catch my attention, according to Snopes it takes a Twinkie 45 seconds to explode in a microwave.

Exploding Twinkies? Cool! I tell you, they're the original fun food.

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Where can I find some good coffee around here?

No wonder our civilization is in the toilet -- it's because the coffee around here sucks.

This isn't personal opinion talking; I'm getting this straight from Consumer Reports. The publication, which has helped comparison shoppers for about a million years, says there are no excellent brands of coffee around this year.

From Reuters:

... after tasting 37 different blended coffees, Consumer Reports couldn't find one that measured up to its "excellent" or "very good" ratings, the publication said Tuesday ... ranking at the top of the list of 14 caffeinated blends -- earning a rating of "good" -- are the Starbucks House Blend, calculated at 26 cents per cup, and Green Mountain Signature Nantucket Blend Medium Roast, at 23 cents per cup.

It turns out arabica beans are in short supply this year, and that's the good stuff. So we're having to make do with second-rate coffee.

See, I kind of had that hunch all along. Understand, I'm one who appreciates a morning cup o'joe -- and some in the afternoon and some more in the evening -- so my tastes for the brew are pretty well developed.

For me the perfect cup is black as old crankcase oil, hot, and full-bodied. In short, I like the coffee that tastes like someone left a cigar butt in the pot.

Now hear this:

The West wasn't won on a cup of that insipid watery stuff many folks swear is coffee. I mean, you can read through it. The stuff isn't even strong enough to defend itself.

And though I occasionally like a cappuccino as a treat, let's take a look at culture. The places where the people prefer cappuccino to regular coffee are those very same nations that need the Americans to haul their chestnuts out of the fire every 50 years or so.

I'm ready for a refill. The real stuff, and pour it like you don't own it.

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Sarah Palin: Talk to the hand

I was amused to hear the latest political scandal, the one about Sarah Palin giving a speech using crib notes written on her hand.

It's a blast from the past. Many of us can recall writing cheat notes on our hands and wrists back in our school days. I know I did, and it was worth an extra five or 10 points on many tests. I never really gave up the habit after my school days were over, either. I'm quite a notetaker, and I swear by the wonderful low-tech "Hipster PDA" (little more than a bundle of index cards) for my very survival. If I don't have that or a note pad handy, I'm not above using my hand.

Barack Obama takes a lot of ribbing about his love affair with the TelePrompter (I'm still checking on rumors that he has one in the Lincoln Bedroom with a selection of sweet nothings for Michelle loaded in), but that's little more than a high-priced version of the palm-of-the-hand note.

Now, I like Palin. I know she doesn't have a chance of being elected; she's probably the most polarizing figure since Hillary Clinton. I can't think of anyone who is neutral about her. And she takes a lot of crap from the media. Shoot, there are a lot more conservative folks out there, and many politicians tote a lot more baggage than her any old day. There are many more viable targets than her. But she's a threat to the mainstream partly because of the attention she normally gets, but also -- don't discount this -- she seems to be a genuinely happy person. But this bit about using crib notes -- will someone please tell me the significance of that?

Understand, if you're in politics you're going to give a lot of speeches. And if you're a big-name person like an Obama or Palin, chances are you didn't write the speech yourself. High-level politicians hire speechwriters, and sometimes it's a crapshoot because every word loaded into the TelePrompter is a surprise.

Unless you're giving the same basic speech over and over again, it's pointless to try to memorize all this stuff. And forget about speaking off the cuff; the political graveyard is littered with the bodies of those who said the wrong thing just because it sounded good at the time.

I've given talks over the years, mostly back in California. I was a member of Toastmasters then (and am looking to get back on board there), so I'm no stranger to the other side of the lectern. I spoke from fairly skeletal notes, usually no more than an outline and a few key words. Still, I was working from an advantage over your favorite politician because I wrote my own stuff.

One time at Toastmasters I gave a talk, and my notes were written on half-sized index cards, something I could conceal in my hand. I liked that idea because I could then step out from behind the lectern, move around, and still have my notes -- my crutch -- with me.

It worked well enough, or at least I thought so.

My speech evaluator thought differently, but he was the type of guy who, if he noticed you nervously jingling loose change in your pockets, he'd place a bet on how much money you had there. He was just a totally evil person. Anyway, he pointed out that I had my fist clenched through the speech, and he was worried I'd go over and beat someone up.

Man, I know I should have written those notes on my hand.

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(Above: Sarah Palin gets caught with her notes during Tea Party Convention in Nashville. Below: Palin's answer, after the ordure hit the rotary cooling device. Hi, Mom!)

Who Dat: Saints win wasn't just on the field

I'm not a big football fan, and I really don't have a team to pull for.

In baseball I have the Los Angeles Angels (a love affair that started in the mid-1960s) and Arizona Diamondbacks. In basketball I have the Lakers (dating back from their Jerry West/Elgin Baylor days) and Phoenix Suns.

The Rams were my hometown team growing up, but that's when Carroll Rosenbloom owned them and they called L.A. home. In Arizona we had the Cardinals, but it was pretty hard to feel good about a team that just pulled in from St. Louis and brought a bunch of lousy players with them. In my Arizona years, the director of the Cardinals offense was quarterback Tom (Pick Six) Tupa, who got his nickname from tossing six interceptions in one game. Pick Six was also a game in the Arizona State Lottery, only you had better odds buying one of those tickets than you did betting on the local team. A sorry lot, those Cardinals back then.

But I spent Super Sunday with my laptop open, banging out some work, with the game playing on the radio. And I nearly screamed my lungs out as the New Orleans Saints shocked everyone and beat the Colts to win the NFL title.

The Saints? Who dat? Who dey? What were they doing in the Super Bowl?

Back when the Rams were still in L.A., the Saints were horrible. They were about the only team those Cardinals could beat. The Aints.

But this year's Super Bowl was the biggest feelgood sports story you're going to hear for a long time. Less than five years ago, their city was torn apart by Hurricane Katrina. The city's population was cut in half from all the deaths, evacuations, and totally unlivable conditions. And in The Superdome, the Saints' home stadium, you got to see all the carnage close up.

Like everyone else then, I practically lived in front of the TV watching the Katrina footage. I saw the footage of riverboat casinos blown across parking lots in nearby Biloxi, and remembered a few friends of mine who worked there. Via the Weather Channel and news programs I saw the flooded streets of New Orleans, the destroyed houses marked with the number of dead people found inside, the looters breaking into stores. And the human devastation inside the Superdome.

I remember thinking that, after Katrina, it would be nearly impossible to get anyone to enter the Superdome again.

People died in that building.

Forget about football; a boy's game was the farthest thing from anyone's mind.

Survival was what it was all about, and the greatest gift anyone could give was a bottle of water.

Like many a good journalist, I'm a sucker for an underdog story. A story of redemption. And sometimes it's a sticky wicket. In the 2001 World Series I even considered pulling for those Yankees just because of 9/11. This is important to consider, because I'd rather eat a live bug than cheer for the folks in pinstripes. Fortunately, sanity -- and the Arizona Diamondbacks -- prevailed, and for the 35th year in a row I was rooting for the Yankees to get smoked.

This year's Super Bowl was a great story, five years in the making. Most of the story didn't happen on the gridiron.

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