The Column

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

If statements a) and b) are true, then ...

Here is something to get your mind going.

Y'all have heard these two statements every so often; perhaps they have reached the point of cliche. But let's take a hard look at them:

a) Time flies when you're having fun.
b) Time moves more quickly when you're older.

Familiar, yes?

But if these statements are true, then this is also true:

c) You have more fun as you get older.

Trust me on this.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Website breaks down the In-N-Out secret

This is one of the things I miss from out west -- In-N-Out burgers.

I got this from Lifehacker:

Make Your Own In-N-Out Double-Double Burger at Home [Recipes]: "
You already know how to make your own Shake Shack burgers, but if In-N-Out is more your style, food blog Serious Eats has once again reverse engineered this well-known burger so you can make it at home. More »

I fell in love with In-N-Out burgers in California, but only after laughing my (_|_) off at the name first. Two double burgers and a chocolate shake -- now, that was the perfect meal when I was on a heavy deadline.

Sonic makes some really good burgers; I discovered them in Kingman, Arizona. There's a Sonic a couple of miles from my house, but they can't touch In-N-out.

How good are these In-N-Out burgers?

I'll tell you. When I lived in Arizona, the closest In-N-Out place was in Las Vegas, 100 miles away. And I made the trip a time or two, just for burgers.

I repeat that: Just for burgers. Not even playing a slot machine, or to hear a band, or visit, or anything like that. I just wanted burgers.

People still don't believe me when I tell them that. (I wonder which part won't they believe?)


Get your jazz ears on: Newport this weekend

... and I'm gonna miss it.

But if you can't be at Newport for the jazz festival this year, here's how to catch it live on the Internet. Check it out.

(From The Jam Session, Reloaded)


Would you like a wedgie with that?

Not sure which is worse here ... Phils' first baseman Ryan Howard pulls up lame while running the bases, and while being helped off the field gets the mother of all wedgies.

Howard's being helped off the field here by a trainer and Phillies' manager Charlie Manuel (right) during the first inning of Sunday's game against the Washington Nationals. Seems he jammed his ankle and messed up his elbow on the play, but X rays were negative.

He'll be all right, once he dislodges his underdrawers.

Footnote: The play where Howard was hurt was shown by video at a Met's game in New York's Citi Field, and according to sports blogger Jonathan Sacks, the Mets' fans cheered. I could make comments about New York fans and sports rivalries, but that's a rant for another day.

H/T: The Huffington Post


Sunday, August 1, 2010

Freaks! Freaks! Freaks!

Are you one? Test yourself ...

This is a rather interesting quiz, although one tends to know early in life if he is one of those nonconforming freaks.

By the way, I scored an 83 overall. Again, no surprise. The test actually has three grades -- on the need to be unique, on the need to not conform, and the willingness to express dissent (also known as stirrin' the puddin'). My scores were fairly consistent across the board, ranging from 79 to 89 in the three categories.


You robs the joint, you takes your chances: Part II

Some folks are never satisfied at their pay after a hard day's work:

Unhappy robber: Gunman calls restaurant to gripe |

A man who robbed a Wendy's at gunpoint Saturday night apparently was so upset with his haul that he twice called the restaurant to complain, Atlanta police said.

"Next time there better be more than $586," he said during one call. He made "a similar threat" in the second call, police said.

My first thought is, why is there so much cash in the till? Most stores have a policy where employees regularly drop any extra cash in the safe.

At least the guy didn't come by to complain, especially while the police were there.